As Teri said, conflict is unavoidable in relationships. It is always a red flag when couples tell us, "We never fight or have conflict". Yikes! That means somebody is not saying something in the relationship! People really do view conflict as negative. It doesn't have to be. Learning to do it in a healthy way can bring so much intimacy to a relationship. And that means any relationship: friendship, parent/child, co-workers.
Resolving conflict is a skill that everyone needs to work on, even if you aren't in a relationship. There are several things to remember when entering into a confrontation that is important in order for it to go well. This week Imagine Hope is sharing some guidelines to keep in mind when fighting fair. Remember conflict is going to happen in any relationship. There is no need to be scared of it as long as you do it well. When you do, it can actually bring you closer!
Memorial Day can be a great time for family and friends to get together and celebrate having a day off at the beginning of summer. But many use the day to memorialize lost loved ones, lost opportunities, and fallen soldiers. This week Imagine Hope is sharing our personal meanings behind this special day!
What Memorial Day means to by Teri-
When I think of Memorial Day my first thought is friends and family. This day historically is a day that I celebrate great relationships in my life. I love having a backyard BBQ and relaxing with laughs and fun conversations. It's a great time for me to catch up with those I've missed and to slow down and just "be" with them. So much of my life I am moving from one thing to the next and continually make promises that "We will get together soon- I promise." The next thing I know months have gone by and the promise has been broken. Taking a break to nurture relationships gives Memorial Day special meaning and reminds me that if I don't slow down in life and put the effort in with the ones I love, I will miss out on extremely special times.
I wish each of you a special and safe Memorial Day and hope you take advantage of the time to slow down and connect with those you love. You never know when you'll get your next opportunity! Check in tomorrow to see what Memorial Day means to Tammy!
Written by guest blogger Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Renewed Horizon Counseling. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling.
Myth #3: “If my partner and I can just make more time to talk about our problems, it will solve all of our relationship issues”
Reality: There are several reasons why this statement isn’t true. First of all, though increasing communication in a relationship is imperative, it isn’t the only thing that is needed in order to improve the relationship. More of unhealthy communication only makes matters worse. If each individual isn’t aware of the unhealthy ways they are communicating with each other, it can become a circular pattern of never-ending conflict and pain. Secondly, how we communicate is more significant than how much- the amount of time spent talking isn’t nearly as important to the relationship as the quality of how people communicate.
Are you struggling with communication? Do you get frustrated when it feels like your partner and you aren't on the same page? This might mean that you are believing some communication myths! Falling into the trap of these communication myths will only end in more frustration in your relationship. This week Imagine Hope will squash these myths in order for you to have a healthy shift in thinking when you are talking with others!
As we are learning this week, some of the television shows, both past and present, can seem dysfunctional in obvious-- and not so obvious ways! This week, Imagine Hope's blog topic is discussing dysfunctional families in television. One of my favorite shows that portrays an enmeshed family system better than any other is "Everybody Loves Raymond". Their family has bad boundaries, clear family roles that show favoritism and can be quite shaming, and a passive-aggressive tone to their communication.
I am LOVING reading this weeks blogs about dysfunctional TV families. I like to think of the beauty of family in the friendships in Golden Girls. I love how they created their own family when they were no longer with their own.
My husband has had to sit through episode after episode of All in the Family with me. It's funny because you would think someone like me would never put up with the first 20 minutes of that show.
If you are presently engaged to be married, we send you our warmest congratulations! The time of dating and engagement is exciting and promising-- a time where couples dream of a future together and feel the promise of a great future with their soon-to-be spouse. Unfortunately, many of us don't learn the "in's and out's" of what it takes to make a marriage work, which can end up in feelings of great disappointment once the "I do's" have taken place.
If you are reading this, there is probably a Congratulations in order?? Well congrats! Or you may be a parent or friend, reading this to pass along the information. Your child or friend will thank you later ;) So far we have learned of the importance of talking about expectations, roles and rules, and styles of love. Today we will talk about communication.
Imagine Hope is getting several calls each week for people who want to save their marriage before it starts! Couples are starting to realize that they need to do more planning for their marriage while they plan their wedding. Many get caught up in the thrill of engagement and wedding stuff, that they loose sight of all the things that go into having a successful marriage