self esteem

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 4

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 4

One of the things we help teach our clients is how to "reframe" something in their life from a negative to a positive.  This could be a characteristic of them, their spouse, or a behavior they do.  Most people become attracted to another person based on something specific, and end up in a marriage

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 2

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 2

As Christy introduced yesterday, we're taking a trait that we'd normally like to change about ourselves and spinning it into something we can see in a different, more positive way.

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 1

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 1

This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative:

What are Risks for Teen Suicide? Part 2

What are Risks for Teen Suicide? Part 2

Yesterday's blog talked about statistics and facts and today we're going to address a few risk factors for teens. There are times in a teen's life where certain things can cause them to be more at risk for, or vulnerable to suicide. Some of these include:

Teen Depression

The Five Freedoms: To Feel

The Five Freedoms: To Feel

Freedom #3: To Feel What One Feels and not what one “ought” to feel. It has happened to all of us.  We are in a situation where we are “should” feel happy or sad, but really we feel something completely different.  The reality is that there is no “should” when it comes to feelings.  We spend a lot of time and energy denying what we truly feel or hiding our true feelings from others.  Hiding or not accepting our true feelings can lead to shame or self-doubt.

What does Healthy Self-Esteem Look Like? #3

What does Healthy Self-Esteem Look Like? #3

Hopefully you have been able to identify some qualities of high self-esteem that you see in yourself. Today and tomorrow we will be discussing characteristics of low self-esteem. If you identify any of the characteristics, don't get down on yourself (thus, creating lower self-esteem), just know this is something about you that needs improvement. We all have areas to improve on. What is a person with low self-esteem like?

Why is Your Husband Not Attracted to You? Part 4

Why is Your Husband Not Attracted to You? Part 4

This week we have been writing about some general things we often hear husbands feel challenged with in their marriages. Many times, women will feel this sense of unhappiness from their husband, and get the general feeling that he is no longer attracted to her. Of course these are all general and don't happen in every marriage. But we do hear a lot of the same struggles from men. We thought it might be helpful to share them with women. 

What To Do if You Are Loving Too Much Part 4

What To Do if You Are Loving Too Much Part 4

Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, each person in that relationship must be capable to have healthy intimacy for it to work out.  Sometimes, we try to change other people to get our own needs met, so realizing that someone else might not be capable of what you are asking for, is important.  This can help you let go of changing them and work on changing yourself and your expectations instead.  Remember, you are worthy of the best that life has to offer!

What to Do if You Are Loving Too Much Part 2

What to Do if You Are Loving Too Much Part 2

As Teri wrote yesterday, it is possible to love too much. Amazing, but true. We want to help those of you who find yourself in this situation to find balance and peace. The middle ground can be loving someone & loving and honoring yourself as well. It doesn't have to be either/or. And, we're not just speaking to women this week either. Men can love too much too!

Seeing Yourself in a New Way-1

This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative: When I was younger, I wished I had a big personality. You know, the kind of personality that is loud, big, funny, and everyone loves. I wanted to have the confidence to walk into a room and be the center of attention. I wanted to be the one who had so many friends because everyone was drawn to them. I thought that if I could achieve this, everything else in my life would change too.

If you know me, you know I don’t have a big personality AT ALL. I’m an extrovert but I can be quiet. In big groups, I am not the loudest, funniest, etc. In fact, I often sit back and watch the dynamics occurring in the room between everyone (which probably explains why I’m a therapist).

I used to view my quiet extrovert-ness as a weakness. I thought it would hold me back both socially and professionally. The older I get, the more I recognize that it actually is a strength. I’ve been told that people are drawn to me, not because I’m a huge personality, but because I have a calming personality. The older I get, the more my confidence has increased—but so has my acceptance of who I am at my core. I am just not a big personality. And that’s ok!

I also have realized the value in the quality of friends I have versus the quantity of friends. The friendships I have are more about deep connection and support than about being “surfacey” or being plentiful. Also, I can be funny in small groups, but I’m never going to be the funniest—and I’ve learned to accept that.

What about you? What traits do you view as negative that you need to view as positive?

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

 

The Masks We Wear…But Why?

Halloween can be so much fun to get dressed up and be whoever you want to be! At Halloween we give permission as a society to “pretend” to be someone else. It can be overwhelming to walk through the aisles and see all the choices!

Did you realize that people wear masks every day of their lives and not just on Halloween? No not real masks- emotional ones! This week Imagine Hope is going to help you understand some emotional masks we hide behind and why.

Have you ever noticed how you might be one way around some people and put on a new “mask” in another area of your life?

Why do we hide from people? Why aren’t we able to be our “real” self in all areas of our lives? Is it fear of judgment? Fear of getting hurt? An image thing? To impress others? To avoid conflict? Wearing masks keeps us from showing people who we really are and only let’s others see who we want them to see.

When we find ourselves switching to a different mask, we need to slow down and ask why. When you tune into your internal self-talk, you can develop more self awareness. Understanding the messages you say to yourself will help you see the masks you wear.

If you want to have connected and fulfilling relationships with others, it’s time to take off the masks and put your real self out there. Keep reading this week to hear more about the specific masks we see people use with others!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

Assert Yourself!

Many people struggle with having a healthy voice. We see 2 extremes... people who feel so guilty about asserting themselves that they become a door mat or people who are overly assertive that it becomes aggressive. Everyone should learn to have a healthy voice to express who they are, what they think, and what they need.

The key to someone having a "healthy" voice is that they don't hurt others in the process. This week we are going to share info about how to assert yourself in order to have a healthy voice in your relationships.

Being assertive is being respectful to yourself and others as you have a clear, confident, and direct voice with someone.

Being aggressive is a voice that is pushy, self-focused, and forceful to get what you want without much concern for the ripple affect in may have on others.

As you check back this week, you will see different tips from non-verbal communication to when and how be assert yourself. Check back tomorrow for more!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling.

How To Love Yourself

We all fail. It’s part of being human. Unfortunately many people respond to their mistakes with self-hatred and condemnation. The voice inside beats a person up like an internal bully and abuses it's victim relentlessly.

Believing the lies of this voice results in shame issues, feelings of abandonment, isolation and destruction in relationships.

When a person is under the influence of these issues, they often have trouble giving and receiving love. The voice tells them that they are not loveable due to their failures, so the result is a “love repellant”. The ability to love ones self is negated by the voice; therefore, the ability to accept another’s love is too.

The voice can be strong and will grow overtime when it is reinforced.

So what weapons can we use against such a powerful negative self-critic? LOVE YOURSELF.

This week we are going to share simple, yet powerful tools to help you learn to love yourself and practice it regularly.

As you can see, if you don’t learn the skills to love yourself, you will likely fall into the painful voice’s trap where your thoughts and relationship will be twisted to support it’s lies that you are not loveable.

Read all week for great tools to fight against and be free from the negative voice inside!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling.

What is Body Image?

Body image issues are a common discussion here at Imagine Hope. We see clients young, old, female, and males who struggle with it. People with body image issues are more likely to develop eating disorders. This week we hope you understand more about these issues in order to live your best life and to help loved ones who might be struggling. Body image is "how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind." Sometimes it can be how you feel about your weight, height, and appearance, but also how you feel in your own body.

When someone has a positive body image, they embrace their body and how they feel in it. They are able to cherish and appreciate all that their body does for them. They don't spend time obsessing about looks and weight, but care for the body in ways that contribute to it being healthy- not "perfect".

People with negative body image feel uncomfortable and lack confidence in their body. They compare themselves to others and pick at all their flaws. Negative body image causes someone to see a distorted view of their body. You might see flaws that aren't there and magnify small imperfections into a bigger deal than necessary.

I encourage you to take care of your body. It does SO much for you. Be grateful for all your body allows you to do each day from walking, seeing, smiling, and singing. Without your amazing body's functions, your quality of life would be much different. Thank your body and be kind to it. You deserve it!

For more information, check out The National Eating Disorder Association and keep reading this week as we cover information about eating disorders, their effects on male and females, and what contributes to them.

**Information from today's blog was adapted from The National Eating Disorder Association

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.