Rebuilding trust is very difficult and takes a lot of time. I think the most difficult part of working with people that have lied or have been untrustworthy in the past is helping them understand one thing: The person you betrayed is not in your mind to have access to your thoughts right now. They do not know with certainty, or have the confidence that you may have in your mind, that you are not going to betray or lie to them again. The only thing they have access to is the past.
One of the most important parts of positive communication skills is being a good listener. When you listen, a person feels cared about, important, heard, and loved. Being a good listener can help all your relationships achieve more depth and intimacy. That's why we are giving you an attainable goal each day this week to help you become a better listener.
Do you know the definition of insanity? We see it a lot in couples and individuals. It's what many of them need to remove from their life: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! We are constantly amazed at how couples, and individuals for that matter, continually do the same things and are surprised when they don't get a different outcome. Particularly with couples, they will come in and insist on fighting, the same way they do at home, only in front of an audience that they are paying. I will persistently try over and over to teach them to have conflict in a different, more healthy
Have you ever taken a good hard look at your life or your marriage and realized, "This isn't working anymore, but I don't know what to do?" Well, this week, Imagine Hope is going to go over some of the things we see in marriages (and life in general) that need to be REMOVED in order for individuals and marriages to be successful. Maybe you're caught up in a negative thinking pattern, nag too much, or are overly critical. Or, maybe you have an addiction or are having an affair that needs to be removed in order for your life or marriage to get back to it's winning percentage.
Ever receive a small gift or thank-you note unexpectedly? Remember how special it felt to receive it? The same applies in marriage too. Let your spouse know you're thinking of them when you're apart. Figure out your mate's love language and run with it! If your spouse is someone whose love language is Verbal Affirmations, then send positive, loving texts to them throughout the day,
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing what it means to be an introvert.
Some people assume that being an introvert means that you are shy. That is not necessarily true! Introverts can be very outgoing and sociable people. In fact, many times, introverts love people-- learning about others, doing things for others, and can be very loyal, caring and loving individuals. As Christy mentioned on Monday in this weeks earlier blog series, the difference with introverts is that, usually, they need to "re-fuel" their emotional, mental, spiritual and physical "tank" by doing things that are more solitary and self-reflecting.
magine Hope specializes in helping couples build a healthy relationship. Unfortunately many people come to marriage counseling after a lot of damage has been done- so we all have hard work to do. This week we are trying to help people see signs that their relationship is in need of help before it is too late for the relationship to recover. If you find yourself struggling with some of these in your marriage, it maybe time to talk it through with one of our relationship experts.
Myth #3: “If my partner and I can just make more time to talk about our problems, it will solve all of our relationship issues”
Reality: There are several reasons why this statement isn’t true. First of all, though increasing communication in a relationship is imperative, it isn’t the only thing that is needed in order to improve the relationship. More of unhealthy communication only makes matters worse. If each individual isn’t aware of the unhealthy ways they are communicating with each other, it can become a circular pattern of never-ending conflict and pain. Secondly, how we communicate is more significant than how much- the amount of time spent talking isn’t nearly as important to the relationship as the quality of how people communicate.
Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing how ADHD impacts marriage and the marital relationship. Adults with ADHD tend to be scattered in their thinking and easily distracted. This can make it very difficult to have meaningful conversations and stay on one topic without jumping from subject to subject. Have you ever struggled with your spouse "chasing squirrels" in conversation? For example, you might be sharing something emotional that happened to you during the day, or something you are excited about in your life, and your spouse gets distracted by their own thoughts or they veer off topic with seemingly random subjects.
If you are presently engaged to be married, we send you our warmest congratulations! The time of dating and engagement is exciting and promising-- a time where couples dream of a future together and feel the promise of a great future with their soon-to-be spouse. Unfortunately, many of us don't learn the "in's and out's" of what it takes to make a marriage work, which can end up in feelings of great disappointment once the "I do's" have taken place.