Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing how ADHD impacts marriage and the marital relationship. Adults with ADHD tend to be scattered in their thinking and easily distracted. This can make it very difficult to have meaningful conversations and stay on one topic without jumping from subject to subject. Have you ever struggled with your spouse "chasing squirrels" in conversation? For example, you might be sharing something emotional that happened to you during the day, or something you are excited about in your life, and your spouse gets distracted by their own thoughts or they veer off topic with seemingly random subjects.
If you are presently engaged to be married, we send you our warmest congratulations! The time of dating and engagement is exciting and promising-- a time where couples dream of a future together and feel the promise of a great future with their soon-to-be spouse. Unfortunately, many of us don't learn the "in's and out's" of what it takes to make a marriage work, which can end up in feelings of great disappointment once the "I do's" have taken place.
If you are reading this, there is probably a Congratulations in order?? Well congrats! Or you may be a parent or friend, reading this to pass along the information. Your child or friend will thank you later ;) So far we have learned of the importance of talking about expectations, roles and rules, and styles of love. Today we will talk about communication.
Imagine Hope is getting several calls each week for people who want to save their marriage before it starts! Couples are starting to realize that they need to do more planning for their marriage while they plan their wedding. Many get caught up in the thrill of engagement and wedding stuff, that they loose sight of all the things that go into having a successful marriage
So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger. As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression. In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.
18. Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.
19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
20. Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.
21. Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
22. Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
23. Stomach ulcers.
There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease. Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger? It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this! Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!
Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
In addition to what Teri, Tammy, and Natalie spoke about in their blogs, here are 3 additional tips for effective communication I see are helpful when working with couples:
Reducing defensive responses when your partner gives you constructive criticism, or when your partner shares how they are feeling about something going on in the relationship. When you become defensive and reactive, you create an unsafe environment for your partner to share their feelings.
This week we're trying to help couples prevent heartache by naming the mistakes we see most often in our office. Yesterday we discussed sweeping things under the rug, expecting a one-hour session to make everything better, & keeping work life separate from home life. Today we build on these common mistakes:
Fighting about too many things at once. It’s hard to follow a disagreement when you’re fighting about this, that, & the kitchen sink.
As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process. While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?
What does an emotional affair look like?
Harry and Sally both worked at Eli Lilly. They were on the IT team together and worked on several projects as a great team. They started going out to lunch to talk shop. One day Harry was very upset about a fight he and his wife had the night before and decided to get some advice from Sally. Sally then shared her struggles in her marriage with her husband. Seem pretty innocent? Let's continue...