When you think of family, it doesn't have to be in the traditional sense. Although this show consisted of four women, they were just as much of a family as anyone else.....and fought like one too.
The Golden Girls
As we continue to discuss Addictions this week, it is important to identify Relationship Addictions. We see this a lot at Imagine Hope. Again, it is one of the Addictions that is hard to recognize if you don't understand what it is. It is "acceptable". You've heard people say, and there was even a song written about it, "They are just addicted to love". This can actually happen.
Teri and Tamara did an excellent job of describing the Family Hero and the Scapegoat in our families. I want to discuss with you the role in the family that typically gets "lost", The Lost Child. The Lost Child is usually shy and quiet. They prefer solitude and often have fantasy lives as children.
So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger. As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression. In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.
18. Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.
19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
20. Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.
21. Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
22. Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
23. Stomach ulcers.
There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease. Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger? It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this! Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!
Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
As Tamara and Teri have shared this week, there are many signs of Hidden Anger. Are you relating to any of them? As Tamara mentioned, it is interesting how many of the signs are closely related to the same signs of Depression. That is because sometimes Depression is unresolved anger that we have held onto for a long time. Anger festers and eats away at our very core and creates psychological and physical changes in us. Here are some more signs for you to think about:
12. Slowing down of movements: When you notice yourself being slower than you usually are and on a regular basis, not just having one day that you are dragging.
13. Getting tired more easily than usual: It takes a lot of energy to carry around all that anger so you are going to feel it in your body.
14.Excessive irritability over trifles: Many people normally experience this after not sleeping well one night or near PMS. But we are talking about on a regular basis again.
15. Getting drowsy at inappropriate times: Again, Anger= less energy= more tired
16. Sleeping more than usual- maybe 12-14 hours a day. Are you seeing a pattern here with the energy level??
17. Waking up tired rather than rested or refreshed.
As you can see, these do go hand in hand with Depression. When you are feeling these symptoms, you may be starting to battle Depression because the anger is getting so intense. Continue reading tomorrow to find out the last 6 signs from Joleen. Thank you for reading.
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC, LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.
As we have learned this week, anger is a healthy emotion, as long as it is channeled in a healthy way. Dealing with anger constructively can actually help our marriages become stronger-- and closer. In order to not allow anger to become destructive, it's important to learn how to deal with it effectively. Today, we will finish up with two more ways to deal with anger that can actually help you improve your marriage:
Hopefully you are learning ways to handle anger this week. A reminder that anger is normal, it's how you handle it that is negative or positive. We changed gears in yesterday's blog- focusing on how we can handle someone's anger in a relationship. This is a continuation of that.
It is amazing how a calming, listening ear can calm an angry soul. Sometimes when my kids are very angry I will encourage them to tell me what is going on (after some time to cool down and get it out of course!)
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that we all experience. It becomes unhealthy when we bottle it, don’t fight fair, and use it to manipulate. Here are some additional tips to help you deal with anger-in a HEALTHY way:
Like Tamara mentioned yesterday, carefronting is a healthy formula to address issues and frustrations experienced by couples.
Anger is normal. We all feel it from time to time. We shouldn't see anger as "bad" or try to avoid getting angry. However, HOW we show our anger and process it can be what gets us in trouble.
This week we are sharing tips to help deal with your anger in healthy ways.
Have Some Fighting Rules
Getting angry during a fight is common, but sometimes unhealthy expression of anger can cause a fight to get intense.
This week as we explore conflict resolution tips, see if you can recognize strengths you already possess in this area, along with skills you need to sharpen a bit more. Here are a few more tips to make conflict more productive:
6. Eliminate cheap shots and "below the belt" comments. Conflict is to be respectful, using respectful words and phrases.
his week, Imagine Hope Counseling Group wraps up our blog series on anger. As we have discussed earlier in the week, anger can often times be what we call a "secondary" emotion. This means that what looks like anger is really secondary to another feeling that is underneath the angry reaction. If you haven't read the earlier blog parts from this week, I encourage you to check out part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4. So, read on if you want to learn about why you or someone you love might REALLY be angry.
We are discussing anger this week and how it is a secondary emotion. As we look into the primary emotions that the anger is protecting such as sadness, fear, disappointment, and hurt, we see how important it is to identify what is driving the anger. When you recognize and deal with the primary emotions, the anger slowly goes away. Today let's talk about hurt- something we all can relate to.
We all get angry, right? Anger is a normal, God-given emotion just like sadness, happiness, fear, jealousy, and guilt. However, the interesting thing about anger, compared to the other emotions, is that anger is often referred to as a “secondary emotion”. This week at Imagine Hope we will be discussing the role of anger as a secondary emotion. We hope this week’s blog helps you discover why you’re REALLY angry.