What to do if you think you are being lied to: Don't obsess-- when you invest all of your emotional energy in what another person is doing, you are only hurting yourself and handing your personal power over to that person to define whether or not you are "okay". Learn to take care of yourself, instead.
Do you know the definition of insanity? We see it a lot in couples and individuals. It's what many of them need to remove from their life: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! We are constantly amazed at how couples, and individuals for that matter, continually do the same things and are surprised when they don't get a different outcome. Particularly with couples, they will come in and insist on fighting, the same way they do at home, only in front of an audience that they are paying. I will persistently try over and over to teach them to have conflict in a different, more healthy
People have a variety of ways to cope when going thru a hard time. Some people find healthy ways, but reality is that many people seek out ways to cope that are destructive and make things worse. Whether a person turns to addiction, isolating from loved ones, or hurting themselves to ease the pain, if the coping skill isn't promoting a person's emotional health and growth, it can lead down a bad path.
This week we are helping people understand more about cutting. It is something we've seen clients of many ages engage in to "numb" the pain of life.
As we continue to discuss Addictions this week, it is important to identify Relationship Addictions. We see this a lot at Imagine Hope. Again, it is one of the Addictions that is hard to recognize if you don't understand what it is. It is "acceptable". You've heard people say, and there was even a song written about it, "They are just addicted to love". This can actually happen.
This week we are focusing on addictions. If you have not read the previous blogs, it is important to do so as Teri has actually defined an addiction. Tamara also made an excellent point in saying with addictions, it is not always the "how much" someone is doing something but they "why". That is so true. Today, I am going to talk to you about work addiction.
Addictions are a common issue we deal with here at Imagine Hope. We see everything ranging from alcohol, drugs, and sex, to work, facebook, and food. Society is getting deeper looks into addictions as well, through T.V. shows like "Hoarders" and "Intervention" becoming more popular. So what makes something an addiction?
Today, we will wrap up with this weeks series on technology "addiction". Have you recognized any of the signs in you or your spouse? You lose track of time online and you (or your spouse) realize you have spent more time than intended, or that your time online has been excessive.
It's not uncommon to get easily "lost" online from time to time, but if you have noticed that you repeatedly spend a lot of time online (internet, Facebook, Pinterest, online poker, browsing blogs, emailing, using Google, eBay, etc.), you might consider this to be a problem.
This week we have been identifying possible markers of a technology addiction. Have you seen yourself in any of our indicators so far? Here are some more:
You may be an addict if the first thing you do in the morning is reach for your phone. Just like Tammy mentioned yesterday, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can make you curious about what wonderful things you missed out on while you were sleeping. Often technology makes us TOO accessible and makes it TOO easy to catch up on everything.
This week we're going over ways to notice whether we can be addicted to technology or the access to it. See if you notice yourself in any of the following:
It's hard to get through a meal, movie, conversation, etc..., without checking your text messages, email or missed phone calls. Even if we've silenced our phones, we may still be constantly checking to see if we've missed something.
This week we’ve defined emotional eating and given examples of triggers. Today we continue to talk about the difference between emotional hunger and actual hunger:
Emotional hunger is instant. It’s an overwhelming sense of “I have to have__________ right now”. Physical hunger comes on gradually and isn’t demanding.
Emotional hunger is food-specific . It often makes you want fatty foods, sugar, or comfort food. When you are actually hungry, you are willing to eat almost anything, including fruits and vegetables, to help ease your hunger.
Emotional hunger doesn’t stem from your stomach. It is in your head, is psychological, and can cause you to obsess over the smell or taste of a certain food. Actual hunger originates from your stomach being empty and your body needing energy.
Emotional hunger is not satisfied. You don’t feel full or like the craving has gone away. You may eat until you’re stuffed and it’s still not gone. Actual hunger, once you’ve eaten, goes away when your stomach is full.
Emotional hunger often is mindless. What starts off as “I really want a few potato chips” leads to “I can’t believe I ate the whole bag!” When you are eating because of actual hunger, you have more awareness of portions and being full.
Emotional hunger causes shame, guilt, and ultimately regret. You may finish that pint of ice cream, swearing you’ll never allow yourself to eat the whole thing again. You probably shame yourself and beat yourself up for allowing it to happen. Physical hunger will not make you feel guilty if you are eating to fuel your body.
Continue to read tomorrow as we will talk about the impact emotional eating can have on you.
Written by guest author Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW
Christy is a licensed therapist at Journey to Joy Counseling in Carmel, Indiana. She specializes in Individual Counseling, Couples/Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Family Counseling, and Teen/Adolescent Counseling.
Food is a big part of our society. There are rarely times it is not included with socializing and celebrations. But sometimes food is misused. Many people use food for more than just nourishing their bodies to give it energy.
People emotional eat when they are using food to comfort themselves, reduce stress, and push away uncomfortable feelings.
Numbing out on food is not always a conscious thing people do. It is often an "easy" way to distract in a struggling time to get a quick fix to "feel a little bit better" in the moment. It's not common that someone will say, "I'm sad, where's the cookies."
Beware that this can be a dangerous cycle for many as they develop unhealthy coping skills and can find themselves and their health spiraling out of control.
Read more tomorrow about what triggers someone to become an emotional eater.
Written by guest blogger Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Renewed Horizons Counseling, who does virtual counseling with clients in Indiana and Florida. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.
This week we are focusing on what it means to "let go". This can help you with relationships, in your job, with your children, and many aspects of your life. So many things that we try to control are really not ours to control. But we try to control them anyway. Many of the things I will discuss today are related to things we can't control.