Letting Go

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 4

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 4

One of the things we help teach our clients is how to "reframe" something in their life from a negative to a positive.  This could be a characteristic of them, their spouse, or a behavior they do.  Most people become attracted to another person based on something specific, and end up in a marriage

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 3

Seeing Yourself in a New Way Part 3

Isn't it interesting to hear how other's view themselves? I would have never imagined that Tamara or Christy wanted to be any different. I LOVE their personalities. I think it is a special gift when we can see something we once saw negative in ourselves and now see it as positive.

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 2

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 2

As Christy introduced yesterday, we're taking a trait that we'd normally like to change about ourselves and spinning it into something we can see in a different, more positive way.

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 1

Seeing Yourself in a Different Way Part 1

This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative:

What Does it Mean to “Let Go”? Part 3

What Does it Mean to “Let Go”? Part 3

Some of us are better at letting go than others. We all struggle with this concept at some point during our lives. The sensation of holding on gives us this false sense of control, security, and drains us of our energy. Sometimes, we hold on anyway because we do not know how to let go. I hope this week gives you some hints as to how to make that happen.

How to Forgive: Symbolism

How to Forgive: Symbolism

As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process.  While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?

Strategies for Dealing with Anger - Part 5

Strategies for Dealing with Anger - Part 5

As we have learned this week, anger is a healthy emotion, as long as it is channeled in a healthy way.  Dealing with anger constructively can actually help our marriages become stronger-- and closer.  In order to not allow anger to become destructive, it's important to learn how to deal with it effectively.  Today, we will finish up with two more ways to deal with anger that can actually help you improve your marriage:

Systematic Enrichment

How to Find Peace in Life Part 3

How to Find Peace in Life Part 3

This week, we are discussing the ever sought after goal of many of our clients— peace.  Peace of heart, peace of mind, a peaceful home, peaceful relationships, or a peaceful work environment. The issues we see in our office that bring couples, families and individuals to therapy may vary, but underneath the presenting problem is usually the same core struggle: Whatever is going on in their life feels chaotic, unsettling, insecure, or just simply without peace.

How to Find Peace in Life Part 2

How to Find Peace in Life Part 2

This week we are talking about how to find peace. It seems everyone we meet on our couch truly wants the same thing....peace. Their pursuits of how they all get it may be different, even if it's through the pursuit of happiness. But ultimately, they want peace. There is a lot of wisdom for peace in the Serenity Prayer. So we thought that would be a great place for us to start. If you haven't already read part 1 of this blog, I encourage you to do so before moving forward. 

All About Affairs- Healing From an Affair

All About Affairs- Healing From an Affair

The Imagine Hope ladies have shared some great statistics and information on infidelity, and how to affair proof your marriage, but what can you do if an affair has already happened?

  1. Seek out a professional counselor that has knowledge and experience in healing from infidelity.  This one is imperative, because if you can't heal from the affair, it will cause more damage to your marriage on down the road!  It's important to understand how your relationship got to this place, and without professional help, it can be difficult to do so.  We all have blind spots-- that's what makes us human.  Most of the time, it's necessary to have someone who is a neutral party help us understand things from an outside perspective.

Advice to My Younger Self- Christy

Don’t Sweat the Small Things Dear younger Christy-

I know you think the things you are going through right now are the end of the world. You just went through a bad break-up, have constant self-esteem and body image issues, friend drama, and overall High School stress. Let me tell you, it does get better.

The things that you think are so important right now, really aren’t. This isn’t meant to minimize what you’re going through, but rather to tell you that there is a much bigger world out there. Once you leave the four walls of High School, you will realize what’s truly important in life.

Don’t stress so much about the little things. Right now you think your looks and popularity are most important. They are how you judge your self-worth, which is at an all-time low. You will soon find that most people actually love you for what’s on the inside, as cliché as it may sound. Don’t stress about the number on the scale, the size of your jeans, or the zits on your face. They are merely the small things.

The people you’ve been surrounded by are not necessarily the people you will choose to keep in your life. You will soon learn the true meaning of friendship-the kind where a friend will drop anything, no questions asked, just to help you. No strings attached. The friends you make in the future won’t care about the name brand on your shirt or the car that you drive. Don’t stress about these little things now.

The guy you just broke up with will continue to play games. He is not the right one for you. He will tell you what you want to hear, then turn around and say mean and hurtful things. Don’t sweat the small things with him. Don’t allow him to cause you so much hurt and stress. Eventually you will look back on this relationship as merely a learning experience. Don’t let the small things bother you so much.

In a few years, you will realize what life is really all about. It’s about love, relationships, faith, and hope. These are the big things in life. The relationships you build will become so much more powerful than you can ever imagine. The wonderful man you meet in a few years ends up not only becoming your husband, but also your best friend. You accomplish more than you ever thought you could because you find your own positive self-worth.

So, don’t sweat the small things.

Love,

Christy

 

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

Boundaries We’ve Set- Christy

We all need boundaries in our lives! Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to go about setting them. Our hope this week is to share some personal experiences with you, so that we may possibly help you in establishing healthy boundaries in your own life. Work Boundaries

I used to work for a company that was not employee-focused. The hours were long, the work extremely stressful, the pay was peanuts. We were expected to give and give of ourselves.

Our jobs were reliant on productivity. This made it tricky to ever take time off, even though we were given an overabundance of PTO. I found myself overworked and burnt out very quickly with this job. I knew I needed to do self-care, but felt guilty for taking a day off. So, I didn’t.

Months went by and I began to despise my job. I was angry and bitter that I couldn’t take a day off. I didn’t take care of myself and dreaded going to work. I found myself worker longer hours and bringing paperwork home with me every night.

Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t setting appropriate work boundaries. I knew that I felt burnt out, but didn’t listen to my gut. I wish that I would have had the insight to allow myself to take a day off here and there, for my own sanity. I should have been more willing to say “No” when I was given more duties. I had too much on my plate, and didn’t realize that I had the right to take care of myself.

Do you find yourself struggling with self-care when it comes to your job? Are there times when you need to allow yourself to say “No thank you” when more responsibilities are given to you? Do you need to decrease your working hours or stop bringing work home with you? Do you need to take time off in order to breathe and feel re-focused?

If you can relate to anything I’ve talked about, I would encourage you to set some healthy work boundaries. If you are having a hard time knowing where to start, please seek professional help. You have the right to take care of yourself!

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

Let Go & Let In 5

This week we are talking about how, when we make the choice to let go of something, we are also letting something else in our life.  Sometimes, this simple shift in perception of what we are doing can create more positive changes.  Here are two more things we can work on "letting in": Let in Serendipity

Have you ever had something happen (positive or negative) that came along at just the right moment, where it actually taught you a lesson from the experience?  Sometimes we call these experiences "God Winks", and sometimes we call them serendipitious moments.  Regardless, it's important for us to be aware of these experiences, because not only does it make us feel more alive and experience more gratitude, it allows us to feel a part of something larger than ourselves and trust the process of our lives (we are exactly where we are meant to be... even if things aren't going how WE think they should!).  Look at these events as a blessing.

Let in Pain

This is a really difficult one.  Especially since our culture is so avoidant of pain.  We are very quick in wanting to jumpt to something to take our pain away, whether that is a substance (alcohol, drugs, etc.) or things (food, shopping, etc.).  When we allow ourselves to feel pain, we also let in the reminder of how good it feels when we aren't hurting.  If you never feel pain, you also rob yourself of feeling the extreme joy of something wonderful.  Letting in appropriate pain also allows us to learn to trust ourselves with our feelings, which is a great thing!  Learn to let in your pain and learn to trust yourself with the whole range of human emotion!

 

*Adapted from “You Are Worthy of Receiving: 10 Things To Let Into Your Life” by Kathy Kruger

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

Let Go and Let In 4

I love the idea of letting something in when you give something up. Even we as Therapists focus so much on what to let go of. What a great thought to let something IN to replace what you are letting go. Let in Gratitude

Most of us have a lot to be grateful for. If you are reading this right now, you are alive. You have breath. That is a gift and we can be grateful for it. Life gets in the way of our graciousness with it's challenges and busyness. It's important to stop and be thankful. Especially when you are letting go of something. It's easy to focus on the loss.

When you are letting go, think of 3 positives that are occurring (or will occur in the future) by you letting go. Be thankful for those things even before they happen. We encourage our clients who struggle with Depression to write down 5 things a day that they are grateful for. This is to help them focus on something positive when it's so easy to think negatively. This would be a great practice for every day but especially when you are letting go.

Let in Silence

Our world is fast and becoming faster every day. It is difficult for us to be okay with silence or even just being still for a few moments. Just look at people in the line at Starbucks. What is everyone doing with that 5 minutes? They are on their phones. What if we took those few minutes to relax, breath, pray, or just stand? Our body needs quiet and especially when you are letting go.

When you are letting go of something you are most likely grieving. When you are grieving, it is as if you are getting over a wound or injury. What does your body need when you are recovering from an injury? Rest. The same for your mind when it is letting go. Be ok with the silence and the quiet. If you must fill it, use it to meditate, pray, relax, and breathe.

Hopefully this week you are getting some great tips for letting in as you let go. Tomorrow Joleen will give us 2 more.

Thank you for reading. Have a great week!

*Adapted from “You Are Worthy of Receiving: 10 Things To Let Into Your Life” by Kathy Kruger

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville