We love talking about boundaries at Imagine Hope. Many times we are share the concept of boundaries, but rarely do we share examples of boundaries we have actually set in our own lives. We believe in leading by example, so this week we are each sharing a personal story. We hope this encourages you to face your fears in setting boundaries!
Breaking up With Friends
This was a hard thing to do, but necessary. There was a point in our marriage where my husband and I had to look at who we were going to surround ourselves with.
We had friends that we did everything with. Ones we grew up with. Even ones who supported us at our wedding. But even in the midst of all these reasons, break ups occurred. We saw that those reasons weren't enough to continue in an unhealthy friendship.
It was important for us to look at the influence friends had on us personally and also how they would impact our kids. As we started our family, we felt the need to have people who shared similar faith beliefs, parenting styles, and life values around us.
Some friends enabled us to be our worst selves rather than our best selves. That had to change. We needed encouraging supports to walk with us in life. Not ones who brought drama and pain.
As this realization was building, we distanced. We thought we could drift away slowly. But in the end that didn't work. A face-to-face conversation had to happen. The words had to be spoken... we are just different people now heading in different directions.
It was intimidating to hurt someone you had shared so much life with. Boundaries tend to hurt and sting- that is unavoidable.
After the break up, it was freeing. Sure there were awkward moments when paths crossed again. But there have been multiple moments of gratitude between my husband and I for taking the stand for our family and setting this boundary.
Remember that just because people have played a certain role in your life does not mean that they are healthy for you to maintain a relationship with. If you are struggling in one of your relationships, talk to one of our therapists to see what boundaries you could be setting.
Check in tomorrow for more examples of boundaries!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri does virtual therapy for residents of Indiana and Florida using videoconferencing technology. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling and adolescent counseling.