Divorce

Psychology and TV Families Starring "The Brady Bunch"

Psychology and TV Families Starring "The Brady Bunch"

At Imagine Hope we help many blended families.  I am currently in a blended family and I come from a blended family.  Perhaps that is why my sister Natalie (who I never refer to as my step sister) and I loved to watch the reruns of The Brady Bunch.  Since our “group had somehow formed a family”, Natalie and I would pretend to be Marcia and Jan when we were little.  We probably watched every episode multiple times.  I am sure we wondered, “why can’t our older brother be as nice as Greg?” or “why can’t we have a live-in maid as nice as Alice?” 

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce: Adjusting

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce: Adjusting

Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex.  Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...

Taking Care of Yourself Through a Divorce: Nourishment

Taking Care of Yourself Through a Divorce: Nourishment

We're continuing our discussion this week on tips for self-care during the divorce process. We don’t have to do all of these at once. Choose one and add the others when it feels appropriate.

Give Yourself a Break- It’s ok to not be ok.  Give yourself permission to grieve, feel your feelings, and breathe.  You’re probably not going to be 100% for a while, and that’s ok!  Be kind to yourself and set realistic goals and expectations.  It’s going to take time to heal and grieve this loss.  Do things that make you feel good and take care of yourself.

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce: Support Systems

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce: Support Systems

Divorce is a major life-change that many individuals go through. It's difficult, confusing and chaotic at times. This week we'd like to offer you some recommendations to help you take are of yourself if you find yourself in the middle of a divorce:

1. Find Some Stability- Throughout this process there will be alot of disruption. Lots of meetings with lawyers & mediators, lots of packing, lots of emotions. Try to find some sort of normalcy as much as you can.

Protect Your Kids During Divorce by Reassurance

Protect Your Kids During Divorce by Reassurance

We never like to see anyone going through a divorce but if it happens, we are so glad parents seek guidance on how to have the LEAST impact on kids. Inevitably, they will have challenges and struggles. But parents can lower the impact for kids if they know what they need to do and follow through. If you missed the beginning of the week, it will be worth your time to go back and catch up.

Protect Your Kids During Divorce Thru Minimizing Changes

Protect Your Kids During Divorce Thru Minimizing Changes

4. Stay Connected with Your Child

If you are going through a divorce, or even contemplating one, think about the stress and anxiety you experience when you think about the changes that are happening in your life.  If you are feeling uneasy, worried, scared, and stressed, there is a very good possibility that your children feel similarly.  The less change right now, the better off your children will be!

Protect Your Kids During Divorce by Staying Consistent

Protect Your Kids During Divorce by Staying Consistent

Divorce takes a child's normal and flips it upside down. There is more research today available about the impact of divorce on kids than when my parents divorced when I was 10. "Helping Your kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" is THE best resource I have found for parents as they navigate their way through parenting after divorce.

Myths About Love - Part 2

Myths About Love - Part 2

 This week we want to address some common misperceptions about love. Love can be a wonderful experience when it is mature, based in reality and honest. Love can be hurtful when we enter it with misperceptions. Here are some common myths about love:

Protect Your Kids During a Divorce Part 4

Protect Your Kids During a Divorce Part 4

We never like to see anyone going through a divorce but if it happens, we are so glad parents seek guidance on how to have the LEAST impact on kids. Inevitably, they will have challenges and struggles. But parents can lower the impact for kids if they know what they need to do and follow through. If you missed the beginning of the week, it will be worth your time to go back and catch up.

Protect Your Kids During Divorce-Part 3

Protect Your Kids During Divorce-Part 3

Tip #3 – Help Your Children Stay Connected If you are going through a divorce, or even contemplating one, think about the stress and anxiety you experience when you think about the changes that are happening in your life.  If you are feeling uneasy, worried, scared, and stressed, there is a very good possibility that your children feel similarly.  The less change right now, the better off your children will be!

Why Are You REALLY Angry? Part 5

Why Are You REALLY Angry? Part 5

his week, Imagine Hope Counseling Group wraps up our blog series on anger.  As we have discussed earlier in the week, anger can often times be what we call a "secondary" emotion.  This means that what looks like anger is really secondary to another feeling that is underneath the angry reaction.  If you haven't read the earlier blog parts from this week, I encourage you to check out part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4.  So, read on if you want to learn about why you or someone you love might REALLY be angry.

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce 1

Taking Care of Yourself Through A Divorce 1

Unfortunately divorce is a reality for many. It is never easy when a marriage ends. I often hear the words "I never thought they would do that" or "How could they change this much?" Many divorces bring out the ugly sides of people. Regardless of the reason for the split or who initiated the divorce, both partners need to take care of themselves through the process- especially if there are kids involved.

Protect Your Kids During Divorce 3

4. Stay Connected with Your Child If you are going through a divorce, or even contemplating one, think about the stress and anxiety you experience when you think about the changes that are happening in your life.  If you are feeling uneasy, worried, scared, and stressed, there is a very good possibility that your children feel similarly.  The less change right now, the better off your children will be!

If it’s feasible, don’t move your children away from their schools, friends, church, etc.  Like Teri mentioned earlier this week, divorce takes a child’s normal and flips it upside down.  Be supportive of your child’s interests, schoolwork, activities and try to maintain normalcy as much as possible!  The more stability you can achieve, the easier your children will adjust to the “new” normal.

If you do have to move your children to another school or away from their friends, make an effort (if possible) to allow them to see their old friends or have contact with them (Facebook, email, texting, etc.)  Also be encouraging as they make new friendships in their new school, and support them as they get involved in new activities.

Read tomorrow for more ways to protect your children.  As always, thanks for stopping by!

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.  Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling.  Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.