As we are looking at different tips for healthy dating this week, we also want to ask ourselves if we have these qualities ourselves. It is important for us to be the person we actually want to date. Today we are asking does this person treat you equally? Pose this same question to yourself- do you treat the person you are dating equally as well?
No one in a relationship should feel inferior or superior to the other. We each bring positive and negative characteristics to relationships and no one is better or worse than the other.
You want to ask yourself "Does this person ever treat me like a child?" Do they try to control things you do or say or do they try to tell you how you should live your life? If so, they may be setting the relationship up as a parental type relationship, without even knowing it.
Another way of doing this is to question your judgement or how you decide things. If they are overly critical or judgmental, they may feel superior to you or feel you are inferior to them. In a relationship, both people's opinions and ideas should be expressed and heard. Then you can decide together what to do. Each of you will compromise at times. If you are being judged or criticized, most likely your opinions and ideas are not being taken into consideration very often, and you are probably giving into the decisions more than compromising.
Do you feel they are disapproving of you most of the time? Again, this is a way of being treated unfairly. Not that you always have to agree. But you can disagree without making a person feel you disapprove of them. If someone is judgmental or critical to you, you will start to feel like they disapprove of you.
When there is judgement, criticism, and disapproval, the relationship feels out of balance.
If you are experiencing any of this, it's important to listen to yourself and your instincts. Look at your family background and see if you experienced this with your parents. If so, you might want to work through some of that so you don't repeat this pattern in dating.
Thank you so much for reading this week. We hope this helps you in your dating life. Have a great day!
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville