This week we're discussing key points to pay attention to if you're in the dating world. Yesterday we discussed boundaries - to note whether or not the person you're dating exhibits them. Today we're going to discuss another key point: Responsibility.
Does the person you're dating take responsibility for their life? "Life" can mean a whole lot of things, can't it?
Does this person hold a job? Do they arrive at their place of employment on time and stay until it's time to leave? Someone who is responsible will not cut corners by showing up late and/or trying to leave early. A responsible person understands the value of hard work no matter their job title.
Does this person pay their own bills, and pay these bills on time? Or, do you see the person you are dating borrowing money or allowing others to pay their bills when they are fully capable of paying their own bills? If they don't understand budgeting, is this person doing anything to get this knowledge and education in order to become a more financially responsible person?
Does your significant other take ownership of their own feelings? When they are angry/upset/scared/happy, do they take responsibility for how they react and respond, or do they blame others? If someone is taking responsibility of their feelings and behaviors, you will hear them say, "I'm sorry I acted this way. I felt (insert emotion) and that does not excuse my behavior. I'll try harder next time to behave in a more appropriate way."
Someone who is not taking responsibility for their behavior or feelings will often say, "Look what you made me do" or "You make me feel......."
Think of most areas of life and evaluate whether or not there is a balance and a level of responsibility. Whether it's being responsible with their own personal belongings, driving responsibly, drinking responsibly, or eating responsibly, there's many ways to tell whether or not a person is a healthy person for you.
Tomorrow we will discuss more tips for healthy dating. Thank you for reading!
Written by: Tamara McCord MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.