One of the things we help teach our clients is how to "reframe" something in their life from a negative to a positive. This could be a characteristic of them, their spouse, or a behavior they do. Most people become attracted to another person based on something specific, and end up in a marriage
This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative:
As Christy introduced yesterday, we're taking a trait that we'd normally like to change about ourselves and spinning it into something we can see in a different, more positive way. It's interesting that Christy mentioned wanting to be a big personality....because that's exactly what I can struggle with in my life. (By the way, we love Christy and her soft, yet funny demeanor!) I was a pretty quiet and introverted girl until I hit 5th grade....and then it was like this personality explosion occurred. I became outgoing, boisterous and talkative. And. I. Haven't. Stopped.
Having a big personality means that I can be bold, straightforward, loud, ask lots of questions, speak up when I see injustice, and laugh... A LOT. But there's times I walk away from a conversation or a group setting beating myself up for having this personality. Some things I "hear" or say to myself are:
- "You were too loud"
- "You shouldn't have said anything"
- "You're being selfish when you act like this"
As I've gotten older, I realize God made me to have a big personality. And it's good He made me this way! Having a big personality allows me to do many things I wouldn't do otherwise. It allows me to live life in a big, grand way. And I love that. I combat those negative, defeating thoughts with these:
- "My straightforwardness is valuable. Others won't have to guess how I feel or walk on eggshells around me."
- "Speaking up against things I know to be wrong protects others. I'd want someone to stand up for me in the same situation."
- "Sometimes I am loud. It's not to get attention. I'm loud because I'm having a good time. I'm not hurting anyone."
We all have something we would like to see be different about ourselves. We challenge you to take that very thing you'd like to change and look at it in a different light, rather than wish it away altogether. Thank you for reading!
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.