To start off the new year, this week we are discussing how we can successfully keep new year's resolutions. So far, we have some great tips on how to do this.
I hope if you have been challenged with some roadblocks with your goals for 2012 that you have found some help this week and are seeing positive results. Today we are going to talk about FEAR! Roadblock #4- Fear of Failure
Fear can often feel paralyzing. When we think about all the "what ifs" in any situation we can feel stuck and not do anything at all. Some fear is normal and actually healthy. We need to be afraid to drive 100 miles an hour down the interstate. This is a healthy fear and normal. But to feel afraid that we may not succeed in our goals will get us nowhere. Sometimes the best lessons in life are learned thru failure. Many inventions were created because someone failed. So if you have set realistic goals, you don't need to be afraid.
In the book titled "Self Esteem" by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning, they do a risk assessment. It can be very helpful in evaluating and challenging your fears. Here is a look at it. Try this on your own fears that pertain to your goals:
1. Describe the failure you fear 2. What do you tell yourself about this event that increases your fear? 3. Rate the strength of your fear on a scale from one to ten, ten being the most fear. 4. Rate the probability of failure from 0-100% 5. Predict the worst possible consequences 6. Possible coping thoughts 7. Possible coping actions 8. Revised prediction of consequences 9. Re-rate your fear from 1-10 10. What is the evidence against the worst possible outcome? 11. What are some alternative outcomes: 12. Re-rate your fear from 1-10 13. Re-rate the probability of the feared failure
If you feel so paralyzed that you can't get thru these questions, it would be best to do this with a friend, therapist, or someone who can help you brainstorm. Sometimes our fears can keep us from seeing things realistically but someone else's perspective might help.
I hope this can help you move thru your fear of failure. No one is perfect and no one can achieve every goal. So it's ok to try, even if you're not sure you can do it.
Tomorrow Joleen will help us thru our last roadblock. Thank you for reading and good luck with your goals.
Adapted from "Self Esteem" by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville