keeping a relationship alive

How To Create Fireworks in Your Marriage- Dream

Dream Together! Many couples begin their dating relationship full of dreams for their future, but once the marriage has become comfortable, they stop dreaming about things to come in the future.

To create more sparks in your marriage, you need to have something to look forward to-- what better way to do this than to dream!

Ask each other questions, such as:  "Where would you like to take a dream vacation in the next five years as a couple?", "What are your dreams for retirement?", "If you could have a dream home anywhere in the world, where would it be?", "What is your ideal kind of family week?".....

Dreaming together doesn't mean that your dreams have to be realistic.  Sometimes, it's fun to just dream about the things you would love to have or do, even when they seem unreachable.  Remember that it's the process of dreaming together, not necessarily what the content of the "dream" is about.  It helps you to continue learning about each other, as well as thinking about your future with your spouse!

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

How To Create Fireworks In Your Marriage- Seduction

The key to seduction is communicating desire.  Not just desire for your own needs to be met, but to meet the desires of your partner.  You have to show your partner that you really want them.   At the beginning of our sexual relationships, we are on our best behavior.  We aim to please and we are open to pleasure.  Over time and with familiarity- that can fade and leave us in a sexual rut. Sometimes after years of marriage, we can become sexually lazy.  Often life, careers, children get in the way of intimacy.  Sometimes those things drain our energy and we have nothing left to give in bed at night.  However, sex with spark is not an energy drain, but an energy boost!

Quit having the same old sex!  Really seduce your partner.  Try something new!  Try someplace new!  As long as it is loving, safe, and mutual, intimacy can be fun.  Take it out of the bedroom and see how you feel.  Make your own rules together.

Remember your partner’s turn ons.  Use them.  Nothing feels as good as being truly appreciated and desired.  Are you a visual person? Take off that old nightgown or tattered pajamas. Then put on something sexy!   A sense of touch person?   Touch your partner in non-sexual ways too.  A sense of smell person?  Wear your partner’s favorite cologne or light sensual candles.

Have sex at least twice a week.  You can find the time.  When you put the time and effort into making it fun and rewarding, it does not seem like a chore.  The key here is to seduce, not service your partner!  Find the connection that makes YOU want more.  Explore and communicate your own sensuality. Find and show your enthusiasm.  And last but not least, have a blast!

Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT

Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapyfamily counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield