five love languages

Christmas Gifts that Say "I Get You"- Part 4

Christmas Gifts that Say "I Get You"- Part 4

This week we are reviewing different Christmas gift ideas for your significant other, based on the 5 Love Languages.  Do you know your significant other's Primary Love Language?  It could make a big difference this Holiday Season  in your S.O. feeling appreciated and validated!  Today we will review the last two Love Languages and gift ideas for each:

Gifts that say "I get you"

Valentine's Day is coming up and many feel pressure to find the "perfect" gift. This week Imagine Hope is giving you tips on what to give based on your partner's love language. There is a great book that helps couples examine which love languages they speak: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We all have needs in relationships, and it is important to know what those needs are so you can make sure you are loving your partner the way they need to feel loved. Most of us receive love through five different love languages: Acts of service, Affirmations, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts.  This book is an amazing tool for people to discover how they give and receive love. Today try to see which love language you think your partner speaks and keep reading all week for suggestions of gifts for Valentine's Day that will really say "I love you"! 1. Words of Affirmation. This includes giving verbal or written praise, compliments, encouraging/kind words, and humble words. Some individuals thrive on verbal praise and kind words. This can include complimenting someone on their appearance, letting someone know how much you appreciate them, thanking them for things they do around the house, or ways in which they are helpful.

2. Gift Giving. This is wanting and showing love in the form of gifts. A gift is anything given to you/given to someone else to say “I was thinking of you”….a visual symbol of love. Gifts can be purchased (small or large) or handmade. There’s also giving the gift of self. This is giving the gift of your presence (physically & emotionally), or in other words, being there for your significant other when they need you. For some individuals gift giving has nothing to do with monetary value, and everything to do with love.

3. Acts of Service.  Did you ever think you might be showing love to your partner by doing chores? The key is that your attitude is about doing the act of service out of love, not out of obligation. Make sure you get clarity on which act of service means the most to your partner. Don't assume any act will show love. If this is your love language, make sure you teach your partner what this means to you and define the specifics around it.

4. Physical Touch. Many people get this one confused with sex. Yes, sexual intimacy is one way to speak to your partners love language if it is physical touch, however, it also includes holding hands, hugs, kisses, scratching their back….anything that you are doing to touch them. Touching them in the way they like to to be touched says, “I love you”.

5. Quality Time. This is focused and undivided time, where you go to the other persons emotional level to connect with them. Quality time means putting away the cell phones and computer related gadgets, turning off the TV, and focusing exclusively on spending good, intimate time with your partner. It’s important to have direct eye contact, and listen with no distractions.

Tomorrow check in for gift tips for Words of Affirmation!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.  Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

When have you felt most loved? #3

Feeling loved is important in all close relationships. It's what draws us into intimacy with a person. If we don't feel loved we will likely hold back and build emotional walls. Not only is this vital in romantic relationships, but also in parenting and friendships. Be sure you figure out what your love language is AND your loved ones. Often times they are different and you will need to be intentional to speak your loved ones language to ensure they feel your love. Now it's time to guess another example. Remember the five love languages are: Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time. You can refer back to our blogs from November 9-13, 2009 for the detailed descriptions.

Teri's response to "When have you felt most loved?"

Since I already answered this question on Monday I will share with you my secondary love language. I don't like to assume anything, which means I prefer someone to tell me how they feel. Verbal praise, acknowledgment, and recognition can really lift me up. Just as much as words can help, they can also break me down. When my husband gives me a compliment, tells me he likes my haircut, or genuinely says "Thank you", "I'm so sorry", or "I love you" it assures me I am loved. The written word also speaks volumes. Just yesterday my husband and son left a note in my car while I was working. That gesture meant so much to me. It's not uncommon that my husband and I will leave each other a surprise message on the shower wall with a bathtub crayon. When this happens my heart feels warm and my love tank fills up.

Can you guess what my secondary love language is?

Answer: Words of Affirmation

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

When have you felt most loved? #2

I absolutely love Gary Chapman's concept of the Love Languages. I love teaching it to couples and watch them "get it" as they identify their own language and that of their spouse. Once you start speaking your significant other's language, it's amazing how much love begins to flow between a couple. For me personally, all of the languages apply, but they are in a ranked order. Can you guess what my #1 Love Language is? (Options are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation & Gifts) You can refer back to our blogs from November 9-13, 2009 for the detailed descriptions.

Tammy's Response to "When have you felt the most loved?"

  • When my husband notices that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded & reloads it. Or, when I walk in the door after work after he beats me home and he has already started dinner. At the same time, when I'm at the office and one of my coworkers sees that I'm overwhelmed and they take it upon themselves to make a phone call that is generally my responsibility. Anything anyone can do that says, "Here let me do that for you" says to me: "I love you Tammy!" It goes a long way in my book. Notice I feel loved when someone does something that takes a load off of what I have to do, not when they're doing their already assigned chores/responsibilities. That is key.  

Can you figure out what my language is?

Answer: Acts of Service 

Please check back in as we will be sharing with you all week our own personal languages. Thanks for reading!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

When have you felt most loved?

Tamara and I were invited to present 2 workshops a few weeks ago at the National Alpha Sigma Alpha Convention. We were honored to present on Positive Parenting and Understanding Others through the Five Love Languages. At the beginning of the Five Love Languages workshop we had attendees fill out a slip of paper with the question "When was a time you felt most loved?" We collected them, explained the concept of the Five Love Languages, and at the end we "quizzed" them by reading their responses to the question and had them guess what that person's love language could be. Tamara and I received great feedback from the group that this exercise really reinforced the concept. This week we want you to guess! In each blog this week we will share with you a situation where one of our therapists has felt loved and you can guess the love language! Remember the five love languages are: Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time.You can refer back to our blogs from November 9-13, 2009 for the detailed descriptions.

Teri's Response to "When have you felt most loved?" Even though I talk for a living, having a long, deep talk with my husband or best friend fills me up. Sitting with my husband over coffee, relaxed, totally focused on each other without distractions, and engrossed in a conversation is a picture perfect moment for me. I feel loved when he gives me undivided attention, and I feel like the most important person to him at that time. I feel loved when he truly listens and asks questions and he genuinely cares what I am saying even if he disagrees. It is important for me to make sure I slow down enough in my busy schedule to do this, otherwise a distance can start and we can feel disconnected. Remember it's important to prioritize moments for you and your partner to speak each others love languages. Not doing so can result in your loved one not feeling loved.

Can you guess what this love language is??? The answer is: Quality Time Keep reading this week to see other examples of love languages!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope          Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual          counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does   family        counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.    Imagine    Hope     serves the Indianapolis area, including the   surrounding  areas   of   Carmel,   Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville,   and Westfield.