enmeshment

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 5

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 5

By now, you are aware of what "enmeshment" is and how to know if you are in an enmeshed relationship (see earlier blog posts this week). What are the dangers of being in an enmeshed relationship?

Loss of self.  When you are in an enmeshed relationship, you lose your identity.  You ultimately lose the parts of your "self" that made the other person fall in love with you to begin with! 

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 4

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 4

If you’ve been reading this week, you may have realized that you have been or are currently in an enmeshed relationship.  The following are some ways to avoid being a person who is always enmeshed with someone else.

Be ok with you. One big reason why people become enmeshed is that they don’t feel okay with who they are. 

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 3

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 3

After reading the signs of being an enmeshed relationship, have you recognized that you may be in one?  Have you realized that you may have merged your identity with your partner's?  If so, here are some tips to end the enmeshment.

Be Self Aware. Remember who you are!  What were the good qualities you had before you became enmeshed?  What are your interests?  What are your values?

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 2

Why Enmeshment is Unhealthy - Part 2

Our belief systems change. When we get too close to someone and enmesh with them, sometimes the things we believe in (religion, politics, moral issues, concepts) can start to change. This may or may not be a good thing. Meeting new people can open our minds up to thinking in new ways and exploring things we've never realized before.

Do You Have A Smothering Relationship?

The Smothering Relationship Picture two people hugging, attached at the hip, never far apart from the other at any time. Feel suffocated? I bet!

This type of relationship is typically seen in teenage &  high school relationships. You might have even felt this way for a little bit when you first met your significant other.

The messages sent in this relationship are "I cannot live without you" or "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" or "It feels so good to be so close to you".

Most love relationships start off this way. However, they slowly move out of the smothering stage as they develop and change into relationships where privacy is valued and where you do things alone as an individual. But, when you are so close to someone like you are in this smothering type of relationship, there is not enough space to grow because you're too close to the other person too much of the time.

Are we saying couples should not be close? No. We're saying couples that are this close all/most of the time will find that the relationship will start to feel uncomfortable/unfulfilled and a person may start to feel trapped and suffocated.

Are you relating to this smothering relationship? If so, you might want to read our article on Enmeshment. You can read it by clicking here.

Obviously this is not the type of relationship we encourage. On Friday Joleen is going to discuss the healthy type of relationship that couples can work towards that brings happiness, fulfillment and peace. Thank you for reading. Tomorrow Alexa will discuss Pedestal Relationships and Master/Slave Relationships...sounds interesting!

 

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC, LCAC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling  at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.