characteristics of a healthy father

Characteristics of A Healthy Father - Teacher/Model

Characteristics of A Healthy Father - Teacher/Model

A healthy father knows he's always being watched by his children. Therefore, he chooses his words carefully, chooses how he reacts to situations, and tries to make as many moments as he can "teaching moments".

Characteristics of a Healthy Father- Spending Quality Time

Characteristic #4 Spending Quality Time I know earlier in the week Teri mentioned being engaged when you are with your kids and family. It is so important to be present whether we are spending time together talking, laughing and having fun, or if we are doing an activity.

A Father who spends quality time with his kids knows that the time spent needs to be something the kids enjoy doing. Sure, having them shag golf balls would be fun for Dad but they would probably enjoy him teaching them how to ride their bike or how to swim a lot more. His daughter LOVES to have him as her most frequent guest to her tea party she holds on Tuesday evenings. He knows just what they like to do and participates because he wants them to feel loved.

A healthy father actually knows his children well enough to know what they enjoy. He listens to them and studies them. What if they are interested in soccer and he doesn’t know how to play? He finds out how to play! Then he plays it with them. A healthy Father shows his love by knowing and pursuing his kids.

A healthy father does things that, yes…sometimes he doesn’t enjoy! Maybe it isn’t his cup of tea to do a tea party. But if that is what little sissy wants, he will learn to enjoy it just because it is with her. If wrestling isn’t his thing, he will muster up enough energy to at least pretend he knows how to do it! The kids don’t even notice. They are so excited that he is engaging in their lives that they roll on the floor laughing.

A healthy Father finds creative ways to spend quality time. Maybe he does need to go out and hit golf balls. It is definitely healthy for him to take care of himself and have time alone. But if he has already golfed twice this week, on Saturday Timmy would join him and ride in the cart or shag those balls. That is…. if he has made sure he had participated in some things Timmy enjoys recently, too. It’s a give and take.

Quality time with your kids can be so fun. Those of us who were blessed enough to have this characteristic in our Father understand the importance and what it does to light up your heart when quality time is given.

We want to wish all of you a Happy Father’s Day this year! God be with you as you raise your children. Thank you for reading.

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

Characteristics of a Healthy Father - Communication

Characteristic #3: Healthy Communication As you can imagine, communicating with your children is extremely important.  But what if this doesn’t come easy for you?  You may have had a father who was emotionally distant, who yelled, shut down, or hardly spoke.  The role of a father that was modeled to you growing up may not be so healthy.  So how do you ensure that as a father you are communicating to your children in healthy ways?

Healthy fathers make sure that they don’t just communicate while disciplining.  Communication grows from engagement and spending time with your children.  Make sure you use kind words when talking to your children.  Tell your children how you feel about them.  Work on modeling to them healthy expression of feelings and emotions.  Tell your children often that you love them, and that you like spending time with them.  Teach them about your family values and the expectations for their behaviors.

Men often struggle with communicating verbally.  Healthy fathers can let their children know how important they are by not only telling them, but by physical touch, paying attention, and watching them.  It’s amazing the message a hug, pat on the back, or high five can send!

The most important thing a healthy father can do is be consistent with communication.  Children need to know what to expect from you every day.  Communicate in a loving way that feels natural and comfortable to you, but make sure you are reliable, trustworthy and a dependable for your children!

Remember that your children are watching and listening all the time.  They watch how you treat other people around you, especially their mother.  They are expert repeaters and will learn how to communicate based on what you do.  Model and teach the kind of communication you want from your children.

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful fathers out there, including my own!  :)

 

Written by: Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.  Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling.  Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

Characteristics of a Healthy Father- Engaged

Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday! Last month we wrote about characteristics of a healthy mother, so now it is time to do the same for fathers.

I know this day can be exciting for some as they celebrate fatherhood, while for others it can be painful due to loss of a father, having a difficult relationship with a father, or having difficulty because you haven’t become a dad.

Regardless of your feelings on Father’s Day, we thought it would be helpful to write about traits to help you understand what a healthy dad looks like. We know this can bring up mixed feelings of gratitude or heartache depending on your relationship with your own father, and/ or how you have parented your own kids. We hope this will offer direction in all of your relationships!

Characteristic #1: A Healthy Father Is Engaged and Present

Our society gives too much opportunity for distraction and pressure for men to be torn away from family. High demanding jobs that require extra work from home, technology that sucks you in, and difficulty balancing time in all areas of life can make it hard to be an engaging dad.

A healthy father, even if he is busy, sets aside time to be engaged with his family. When he is there, he is present. His attention is on his family by playing, talking, making eye contact, and asking questions. He makes the most of the little time he might get at home to be fully there when he is.

Healthy fathers get involved. They take initiative to be at events or part of them. They know what is going on and aren’t always left in the dark with what is happening in their children’s lives.

He embraces the tiny slices of time he gets with his kids because he knows that he could miss an opportunity as time flies by. Steven Curtis Chapman sings about this in his song “Cinderella” (which makes me cry every time I hear it!). In the song he gives examples throughout the life of his daughter when she has asked him to dance, and he stops to do it. Here’s the first verse and chorus:

“She spins and she sways to whatever song plays without a care in the world And I’m sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders

It’s been a long day and there’s still work to do She’s pulling at me saying “Dad, I need you there’s a ball at the castle And I’ve been invited and I need to practice my dancing Oh, please, Daddy, please?”

So I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms ‘Cause I know something the prince never knew Oh, I will dance with Cinderella I don’t want to miss even one song ‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight And she’ll be gone…”

No matter what the distractions in life, a healthy father takes a moment to put it all aside and connect with his children. He makes his family a priority and shows it by being engaged and present at any chance he gets.

Check in all week for more great examples of healthy fathers and Happy Father’s Day Dad's!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

 

Characteristics of A Healthy Father- Protection

In honor of Father's Day, this week Imagine Hope is talking about some characteristics of a healthy father.  Do any of the characteristics from this week remind you of your Dad? A healthy father provides protection for his family.

When we think of protection, we usually think physical protection.  A healthy father makes sure that his family is safe from danger.

He is physically present.  He sets limits with how many things he does outside of the family and makes sure his is physically there and involved in the family.

He makes sure his family has a roof over their heads and food on the table (the best that he can, especially during difficult times). He doesn't use finances in a way that takes away from his family's physical safety and protection.

While this is one way of providing protection, there are more that are just as important.

A healthy father protects his family emotionally.  He keeps his emotions in check-- and though he has a full range of feelings, he doesn't allow those feelings to take over (e.g., he isn't reactive or raging, his isn't moody and he doesn't take his feelings out on those around him).

A healthy father also nurtures the feelings, thoughts and needs of his children (and wife).  He is able to respect their feelings and make sure his children and wife feel respected and heard.  This makes him an emotionally safe and protective person.

A healthy father is mentally protective.  He sets boundaries with things outside of the family that interfere with the family system running smoothly.  He listens to what the family unit needs and makes sure that he follows through with saying no to things that interfere with this.  He is a leader.

Do you recognize any of these characteristics in your own father?

I hope you are able to celebrate father's day with your Dad this year-- Father's are such an important part of the family!  Happy Father's Day to all of the Dads out there!

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

 

Characteristics of a Healthy Father- Engaged

Father's Day is coming up this Sunday! Last month we wrote about characteristics of a healthy mother, so now it is time to do the same for fathers. I know this day can be exciting for some as they celebrate fatherhood, while for others it can be painful due to loss of a father, having a difficult relationship with a father, or having difficulty because you haven't become a dad.

Regardless of your feelings on Father's Day, we thought it would be helpful to write about traits to help you understand what a healthy dad looks like. We know this can bring up mixed feelings of gratitude or heartache depending on your relationship with your own father, and/ or how you have parented your own kids. We hope this will offer direction and hope in all of your relationships!

Characteristic #1: A Healthy Father Is Engaged and Present

Our society gives too much opportunity for distraction and pressure for men to be torn away from family. High demanding jobs that require extra work from home, technology that sucks you in, and difficulty balancing time in all areas of life can make it hard to be an engaging dad.

A healthy father, even if he is busy, sets aside time to be engaged with his family. When he is there, he is present. His attention is on his family by playing, talking, making eye contact, and asking questions. He makes the most of the little time he might get at home to be fully there when he is.

Healthy fathers get involved. They take initiative to be at events or part of them. They know what is going on and aren't always left in the dark with what is happening in their children's lives.

He embraces the tiny slices of time he gets with his kids because he knows that he could miss an opportunity as time flies by. Steven Curtis Chapman sings about this in his song "Cinderella" (which makes me cry every time I hear it!). In the song he gives examples throughout the life of his daughter's life when she has asked him to dance, and he's stopped to do it. Here's the first verse and chorus:

"She spins and she sways to whatever song plays without a care in the world And I'm sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day and there's still work to do She's pulling at me saying "Dad, I need you there's a ball at the castle And I've been invited and I need to practice my dancing Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms 'Cause I know something the prince never knew Oh, I will dance with Cinderella I don't want to miss even one song 'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight And she'll be gone..."

No matter what the distractions in life, a healthy father takes a moment to put it all aside and connect with his children. He makes his family a priority and shows it by being engaged and present at any chance he gets.

Check in all week for more great examples of healthy fathers and Happy Father's Day to all of you dad's out there!

Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.