Your teen has now pulled out MOST of the stops! They've been disrespectful, are truant or failing school and running away, and now are threatening to have a baby. What could they possibly do next?
Level 5: Alcohol or Drug Abuse
Your teen may be thinking, "My Mom won't know what to do if I'm using drugs or drinking. She was able to make it thru me running away and threatening a pregnancy, but she won't be able to stand the thought of me smoking pot (or insert any drug here)!"
No parent wants to hear their child say they are going to use drugs or get drunk. But again, you have to keep your cool. Don't let this threat make you back down. Let them know the rules at your house:
~No one lives here and uses drugs or participates in underage drinking. You will need to go live somewhere else. And I think you know where that got you last time!
~We will shut down your banking accounts with our name on it so you don't have a way to cash your checks from work. We won't be associated with a known felon or have any documents connecting us to that. Additionally, we will not be giving you any money for spending or anything for that matter.
~I will turn you over to the police. We recommend you videotape them smoking pot, if possible, so you can turn this over to the police as evidence.
I know these seem harsh, but you have to use a consequence that is going to taste really bad! Do you want your child to control you or not?
Level 6: Threats or Acts of Violence:
The drug threats usually really tick them off. There is not much left to do but become violent or threaten to use violence.
If your child threatens you, calmly let them know you will call the police if they act in the least bit violent. If they continue, YOU MUST CALL THE POLICE! If you don't follow thru with this, they will control you again and you are putting yourself in danger! Your teen is very angry at this point and most likely will hurt you. Call them, file a report, and let your teen know you have done so. Many times the police coming to the house actually nips it right then and there.
I hope it never comes to this for you and your family. We have seen many families go thru this and it is very painful. However, you cannot let your pain force you to back down and let your teen run over you. It puts them in danger! Love must be tough! Remember- you are doing this because you love your kid more than yourself.
We can't reiterate enough, if it has come to this point you MUST seek professional help. It will help encourage you and give you accountability when dealing with your teen.
Tomorrow Joleen will wrap things up with one last ditch effort kids use as well as give some suggestions and resources to help you. Thank you for reading!
Adapted by "Parenting Your Out of Control Teen" by Scott Sells
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville