Dealing with Difficult People - The Complainer

Everyone knows a complainer or two or twelve.  Complainers drain our energy!  Complainers are difficult to be around due to their negative outlook and fear.  They feel the need to verbalize negativity often.  I find complainers to be like the dementors in the Harry Potter series, they suck the joy right out of you!  You have read this week about how to deal with the openly aggressive person and the sniper from Teri and Tamara, now its time to contain the complainer! The Complainer

Complainers are fearful people who believe that they live in a hostile world.  They complain about the world "not being fair", and attempt to bring people around them into despair.  These are not people who jump into action to try to change a situation that is not pleasing to them.  Instead they do nothing but complain to anyone who will listen to the point of annoyance.

We all complain at times.  But these difficult people complain too often.  When you encounter a complainer, do not try to argue with them (they will only complain about you to another person!) Instead, respond with your positive outlook. For example, if you are at a restaurant with a person who says something negative about all of her food, you can point out that you really enjoy yours, or how delicious her food actually looks to you.  Be careful, complaining is as contagious as a yawn and pretty soon your whole dinner party could be complaining!  Nothing like shining your light to get rid of the darkness that complainers bring.

Sometimes it can be tempting to join in a complaint party.  But be aware:  this party celebrates negativity and breeds discontent.  No one comes out happy, but feeling worse than when they arrived.  Next time you are invited to this pity party, RSVP "no thank you".

To stay with the Harry Potter theme, next time you are around a complainer and feel dark, take a page from Dumbledore.  "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light."  Happy shinning!  As always, thanks for reading.


Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT

Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapyfamily counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield