Communication tips

Communication Tips for Parents Part 2

Here are some more tips Imagine Hope is offering parents to better connect with your children and teens:

  • Ask open ended questions (questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no").
  • Even when you are busy, give them some undivided attention. It shows they are still a priority to you.
  • Respect them. If you want them to respect you, you should do the same to them.
  • Avoid name calling, put downs, and aggressive words. This can greatly damage their self-esteem and make them feel not good enough.
  • Be a good role model. They learn from watching you. So be careful what you do, they might pick it up.
  • Don't interrupt.
  • Say "I love you" at all ages.

Stay tuned for more tips as the week continues!

Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

Communication Tips for Parents Part 1

Sometimes it is hard to know how to communicate with your child. This week Imagine Hope wants to offer you ways to help connect with your child when talking to them. Imagine Hope is active in the Indianapolis area in providing guidance for parents who need help on the journey of parenting. Enjoy the tips!

  • Maintain good eye contact. It shows you aren’t distracted.
  • Ask them about their day and share about yours. They might open up more if you are open too.
  • Listen to the little stuff. It will make them more likely to come to you about the big stuff.
  • Make an effort to spend time talking daily. Turn off the TV. Take advantage of riding in the car to talk.
  • Ask them their opinion about things. You might learn something about them.
  • Make their vote count sometimes. It makes them feel heard.
  • Praise them for the good things they do. You should praise more than you criticize.

Stay tuned for Tammy's tips tomorrow!

Written by Teri Claassen, MSW, LCSW

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.  Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.

30 Tips to Help with Communication Traps 14-22

As Therapists, we get the opportunity to be on the outside of conflict, looking in without being emotionally involved. Most of the time, it is easy to see how something was miscommunicated and what went wrong. But when you are in the heat of something or have a lot of baggage that you haven't dealt with, it is hard to see your part and make the changes needed. We hope this week that these tips will help you. If you haven't read the first 13, please do so. They are helpful! 14. Avoid sarcasm or condescending manner when giving feedback.

15. Share the positive too.

16. Do not give advice unless the person asks for it- just give them your reactions.

17. Ask for feedback if you would like it.

18. Receive the feedback openly.

19. Do not make excuses- just hear what you asked for!

20. Acknowledge the value of the feedback.

21. Don't just sit there with a blank stare. Let the person know what you are thinking or feeling. If you don't, they are left to make assumptions and that is usually not good.

22. Express appreciation that they cared enough to give you the honest feedback.

Remember- these are just tips. You can't change everything in a day. We encourage you to just pick a couple of them to focus on at a time. Then pick another once set have mastered the first set of tips.

Tomorrow Joleen will give you more tips. Thank you for reading and have a great week!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

30 Tips To Help With Communication Traps 5-13

 Communication is all around us. It can be verbal or non-verbal, and a part of every type of relationship from friendship to romantic relationship. Throw in good intentions and miscommunication and it'll end up in disaster. This week we want to help you with communication traps. These tips can be used for any type of relationship you encounter. When communicating:

5. Give information directly to someone, don't hint or filter it through a 3rd party.

6. Give the other person a chance to respond.

7. Give information caringly.

8. Feedback is not feedback when it's meant to hurt - then it's just an attack.

9. Don't nag or hound a person about their behavior unless they've told you they want your help.

10. Avoid being judgmental (watch saying "right" or "wrong").

11. Don't focus on "why" someone does what they do, just focus on what you see.

12. Talk about how you feel. That is real and genuine.

13. Be direct.

If you're seeing some areas you need some help in, focus on a few tips & hopefully you'll start recognizing some change in the near future. Thank you very much for reading. We have several tips still yet to come!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling  at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

Communication Using an Internal Boundary 2

 I know I generally start Tuesday's blog saying "If you haven't read Monday's blog, go back and start there". Well, today isn't any different! This week we're discussing great tips on communication taken from Pia Mellody's book The Intimacy Factor, & yesterday Teri went over a great introduction describing internal boundaries, along with 4 great communication tips. Here are 5 more communication tips for TALKING:

5. State what happened or what you want to share without using words that are demeaning (report sensory input). For example, say what you saw &/or heard: "You play the music loud."
 6. State what you believe or made up about what you stated in Rule 5. This is where you share your thoughts about why you believe the person did what they did in #5. "What I made up in my mind was that you did not care about my comfort."
7. State how you feel or made yourself feel regarding what you said in Rule 6. In other words share your feelings."And I made myself feel angry and I felt shame."
8. State what you did regarding your thoughts (stated in Rule 5) and your feelings (stated in Rule 6): "And I decided to talk to you about the way you handle the music and the way I felt".
9. State how you would prefer things to be, if appropriate. If negotiation is required, start the process as follows: Identify the problem; propose various solutions; choose a solution; and put the solution into action. Evaluate the results to see if further negotiation is necessary.
Realize that it is easier for someone to be less defensive as a listener if you use the phrases "made up about that" and "made myself feel about that", than if you were to say "you, you, you". Notice the difference?". We hope if you try these talking techniques you start seeing differences in the way the people in your life respond back. Please check back in as Natalie & Joleen go over LISTENING tips on Thursday & Friday. Thanks for reading!
*Material taken from Pia Mellody's book The Intimacy Factor.

 

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling  at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.