When some people think of gambling addiction, they have a picture in mind of someone who takes their paycheck and blows it on scratch offs or at the casino. Someone who is in jeopardy of being evicted from their home, can barely buy groceries, and has collection agencies calling. Although this is a picture of a gambling addict, there are other forms as well.
magine Hope specializes in helping couples build a healthy relationship. Unfortunately many people come to marriage counseling after a lot of damage has been done- so we all have hard work to do. This week we are trying to help people see signs that their relationship is in need of help before it is too late for the relationship to recover. If you find yourself struggling with some of these in your marriage, it maybe time to talk it through with one of our relationship experts.
Myth #3: “If my partner and I can just make more time to talk about our problems, it will solve all of our relationship issues”
Reality: There are several reasons why this statement isn’t true. First of all, though increasing communication in a relationship is imperative, it isn’t the only thing that is needed in order to improve the relationship. More of unhealthy communication only makes matters worse. If each individual isn’t aware of the unhealthy ways they are communicating with each other, it can become a circular pattern of never-ending conflict and pain. Secondly, how we communicate is more significant than how much- the amount of time spent talking isn’t nearly as important to the relationship as the quality of how people communicate.
Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
If you are reading this, there is probably a Congratulations in order?? Well congrats! Or you may be a parent or friend, reading this to pass along the information. Your child or friend will thank you later ;) So far we have learned of the importance of talking about expectations, roles and rules, and styles of love. Today we will talk about communication.
Anger is an extremely powerful emotion that can often consume people if it is not processed effectively. Many people allow things to build up over time. They hold grudges which brew under the surface. Hidden anger can have symptoms that many people might pass off as someone's personality or just having a bad day. But if you see many of these together for a long period of time, you may have some hidden anger that is controlling your life
In addition to what Teri, Tammy, and Natalie spoke about in their blogs, here are 3 additional tips for effective communication I see are helpful when working with couples:
Reducing defensive responses when your partner gives you constructive criticism, or when your partner shares how they are feeling about something going on in the relationship. When you become defensive and reactive, you create an unsafe environment for your partner to share their feelings.
As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process. While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?
With both, you experience a loss. However with grief, the more time that elapses, the intensity of the loss decreases. With abandonment, the difference is that the loss feels personal. The intensity of the loss does not decrease because it feels personal.
As Teri mentioned yesterday, disagreements can be healthy, as long as it's done in a respectful way. Healthy conflict can be one of the ways you and another person grow closer. It's natural for people to disappoint us in our lives, but how we handle it is key. Continue to follow tips for healthier communication steps this week, and you'll find yourself more successful at tackling difficult conversations.
This week, we are discussing the ever sought after goal of many of our clients— peace. Peace of heart, peace of mind, a peaceful home, peaceful relationships, or a peaceful work environment. The issues we see in our office that bring couples, families and individuals to therapy may vary, but underneath the presenting problem is usually the same core struggle: Whatever is going on in their life feels chaotic, unsettling, insecure, or just simply without peace.