I was at a conference when I heard a well known and respected Psychologist, Henry Cloud, tell a wonderful story. It was about a couple he had counseled. They were sick and tired of their 21 year-old son living with them. He didn't contribute financially or with any of the household chores. They wanted to know how they could fix their son's problem. Henry looked at them and said, "Your son doesn't have a problem. He has it made. YOU all have a problem!"
When children return back home in their 20's and 30's, this can create some uncomfortable moments for parents. Finances is one such area that can become very uncomfortable.
One reason children move back home is for their own financial reasons. Somehow they're struggling financially on their own, and they land on mom and/or dad's doorstep.
Have you ever heard a friend or family member complain about their adult child still living in their basement? This phenomenon is called “Failure to Launch”. This week at Imagine Hope we will be discussing what failure to launch is, the impacts and consequences, and how to address it should you find your adult children still living with you.
At Imagine Hope we hear a lot of stories from clients about their families. As we watch how the media portrays families, we see that many of our clients can relate to the stories we see on TV. Each day this week we will dig into some popular families and draw from their positive traits and dysfunctions.
Divorce takes a child's normal and flips it upside down. There is more research today available about the impact of divorce on kids than when my parents divorced when I was 10. "Helping Your kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" is THE best resource I have found for parents as they navigate their way through parenting after divorce.
Isn't it fun to see Christmas through the eyes of a child? A few years ago, when decorations started popping up, my then 4 year-old noticed every light, each tree, and had a comment for them all! I realized in the moment that was only his 2nd Christmas that he remembered! We get so desensitized to it all that we forget the beauty and magic in the most wonderful time of the year! Here's some help with your 5 and 6 year-old, to see it through their eyes.
Can you believe it’s December already? Christmas will be here in a few weeks and so will Christmas break. We hope all our readers take advantage of this time to be intentional about planning for and enjoying their break. This week we came up with several ideas that you can do as an individual or family over your break.
With Halloween right around the corner, we may be on a heightened alert of what scares us. This week we are talking about fear and how it impacts our lives in various ways. Parenting can often trigger fears in us that we did not even know existed! I think most of us who are parents would agree that there are times when nothing can be scarier than being a parent!
Yesterday we went over the characteristics of resilient children. Two of these characteristics are that a resilient child has learned how to problem solve and has been allowed to experience failure.
The Power of Failure
Failure can help a child (and an adult) develop an identity. Oftentimes we desire for children to have high self-esteem and see themselves in a good light. While this sentiment is well-intentioned, it can be misguided. Let me explain.
By now, you are aware of what "enmeshment" is and how to know if you are in an enmeshed relationship (see earlier blog posts this week). What are the dangers of being in an enmeshed relationship?
Loss of self. When you are in an enmeshed relationship, you lose your identity. You ultimately lose the parts of your "self" that made the other person fall in love with you to begin with!
Today we'll discuss three hot topics for teenagers that parents need to model in order to teach healthy relationships. These three hot topics are: mutual respect, manipulation and manners.
The first place a teenager sees relationship is at home between his/her parents or with her parent's relationships. This makes it crucial that a teen sees a mutually respectful relationship between two people. Many times, in our office, we see teens who are brought to counseling for disrespectful behaviors. One of the first things we look at is how the teen is learning those behaviors and whether or not the teen is witnessing disrespectful behaviors with their parents relationships.