Are things going smooth in your relationship? Do you feel connected and close? Congrats! We are so excited for you! Getting to a good place in your marriage can be a long hard road. Many couples we work with are able to achieve connection, but they fear that things will go down hill over time.
Many times, our clients feel confusion when the term “abandonment issues” comes up in therapy. After all, don’t we most commonly think of the literal term, “abandonment”, as being physically abandoned (like an infant who is left on a door step for someone to find) ?
So, what exactly are abandonment issues?
The most important part of seduction is to communicate your desires to your partner. In addition, you need to allow your partner to communicate their desires to you as well. Oftentimes, our sex life becomes lazy the longer we are with our partner. You need to relay to your partner that you still want to please them, in order to avoid a rut. When you do find yourselves in a sexual rut, it’s often because life gets in the way. We have careers, children, bills to pay, a house to clean, etc. Sometimes these things can drain our energy during the day, and we don’t have the energy to “perform” in bed at night. However, when you have sex with spark, it is not an energy drain, but an energy boost!
Stop having the same sex! Seduce your partner, spice up your sex life. Try something or someplace new. Take it out of the bedroom or incorporate a new position, lingerie, or novelty. Try to recreate the sex that you had when you were first together.
Remember what turns your partner on-and do it! Make them feel desired and appreciated. Stop wearing that old nightgown or ripped T-shirt to bed. Put on something seductive and see what happens. Massage your partner’s back or neck. Put on a new perfume/cologne or light some sensual candles. Turn on some music and let it guide you.
Have sex at least twice a week. Make it a priority! When you put the time into it to make it more rewarding, it doesn’t feel like a chore. The key is to seduce your partner, not service them! Explore and communicate your own desires, and be enthusiastic to make your partner feel good. But most of all, have a blast!
Written by guest author Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW
Christy is a licensed therapist at Journey to Joy Counseling in Carmel, Indiana. She specializes in Individual Counseling, Couples/Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Family Counseling, and Teen/Adolescent Counseling.
Ever receive a small gift or thank-you note unexpectedly? Remember how special it felt to receive it? The same applies in marriage too. Let your spouse know you're thinking of them when you're apart. Figure out your mate's love language and run with it! If your spouse is someone whose love language is Verbal Affirmations, then send positive, loving texts to them throughout the day,
We all have moments where we stop and think “I should call and check on so-and-so to see how they are”, or “I should really make an effort with this person to do more”. Life often has a way of getting in between relationships—whether they are friendships, your family, or even your marriage. Relationships don’t just happen. They take time, effort, love, patience, sacrifice, and nurturing to keep them in existence and to help them grow. This week at Imagine Hope we are talking about the importance of nurturing relationships, and steps you can take to better any relationships that you may not be giving your full time or attention to.
People love love. Romance can be like a drug to many. But the danger of this is that people don't truly understand what love is. They bring misconceptions about love into their relationship and end up with hurt feelings, confusion, and sometimes the ending of the relationship. Because society has such an impact on how we view love (and we know how twisted our society's lens of the world can be!), we want to help our readers understand the myths about love that could be doing damage in their relationships.
The fight or flight instinct is a strong one that kicks in without us even thinking about it. Sometimes this instinct can play out in relationships too. We might be in situations where we desire to fight for the relationship or flight and exit. This week we are going over common exits that we see in relationships. All relationships use language to express feelings. An exit is a behavior that acts out our feelings.
This week at Imagine Hope, we are discussing the impact your four-legged friends can make on your mental health. Did you know that research shows owning a dog or a cat can reduce blood pressure, decrease stress, and boost levels of endorphins in your brain? It’s amazing how impactful these family members can be on our lives!
Everyone has good intentions to find a healthy relationship, but do they have what it takes to make it happen? Enmeshment is the initial love stuck feeling people typically experience at the beginning. This extreme is a short lived fantasy land where people tend to lose themselves. This is not a healthy relationship.
As we have learned this week, shame issues take many forms in relationships and can have very damaging effects on a relationship. Many couples who come in our office initially think they are struggling with communication issues surrounding a particular area of their life (e.g., domestic support, finances, parenting, intimacy), but once we dive into the way they are communicating, we find that it has less to do with the content of their conflict and more to do with the way they communicate, if the communication is filled with shame.
Attacking the person vs. the behavior: Criticism
his week, Imagine Hope Counseling Group wraps up our blog series on anger. As we have discussed earlier in the week, anger can often times be what we call a "secondary" emotion. This means that what looks like anger is really secondary to another feeling that is underneath the angry reaction. If you haven't read the earlier blog parts from this week, I encourage you to check out part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4. So, read on if you want to learn about why you or someone you love might REALLY be angry.