his week, Imagine Hope Counseling Group wraps up our blog series on anger. As we have discussed earlier in the week, anger can often times be what we call a "secondary" emotion. This means that what looks like anger is really secondary to another feeling that is underneath the angry reaction. If you haven't read the earlier blog parts from this week, I encourage you to check out part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4. So, read on if you want to learn about why you or someone you love might REALLY be angry.
This week, we have been discussing the subject of trauma-- Not the obvious kind of trauma that occurs due to a natural disaster or global catastrophic event, but the more subtle kinds of trauma that often go unrecognized. These subtle forms of trauma impact our lives emotionally, though we often times might not recognize that is what we are experiencing.
One book that I recently read and highly recommend is "Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love" by Scott Sells. This book offers a hands-on approach to parenting a teenager who is struggling with parental boundaries and exhibiting hurtful behavior towards themselves and others.
Have you ever taken a good hard look at your life or your marriage and realized, "This isn't working anymore, but I don't know what to do?" Well, this week, Imagine Hope is going to go over some of the things we see in marriages (and life in general) that need to be REMOVED in order for individuals and marriages to be successful. Maybe you're caught up in a negative thinking pattern, nag too much, or are overly critical. Or, maybe you have an addiction or are having an affair that needs to be removed in order for your life or marriage to get back to it's winning percentage.
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing what it means to be an introvert.
Some people assume that being an introvert means that you are shy. That is not necessarily true! Introverts can be very outgoing and sociable people. In fact, many times, introverts love people-- learning about others, doing things for others, and can be very loyal, caring and loving individuals. As Christy mentioned on Monday in this weeks earlier blog series, the difference with introverts is that, usually, they need to "re-fuel" their emotional, mental, spiritual and physical "tank" by doing things that are more solitary and self-reflecting.
magine Hope specializes in helping couples build a healthy relationship. Unfortunately many people come to marriage counseling after a lot of damage has been done- so we all have hard work to do. This week we are trying to help people see signs that their relationship is in need of help before it is too late for the relationship to recover. If you find yourself struggling with some of these in your marriage, it maybe time to talk it through with one of our relationship experts.
Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
So far, we have described what Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is, as well as how it can impact your life. So what can you do to help with the symptoms? While there is no “cure” for SAD, there are things you can do to minimize and limit the symptoms to cope more effectively. Here are some treatment options:
Light Therapy. Light therapy is used with a “light box”, which is a specially designed device that produces high levels of light and is usually used for 30 minute intervals twice a day (or as prescribed by your doctor).
Psychotherapy/counseling. As with any form of depression, counseling can greatly assist you in identifying life stresses and learn better ways of coping that aid in depression symptoms.
Antidepressants. While not all people need antidepressants, if you have tried other methods of coping and seem unable to make improvements with your symptoms (or if they seem to be getting worse), antidepressants may be needed to help with SAD.
Living a healthy lifestyle. This means trying to keep a regular sleep schedule and good sleep hygiene, eating right, exercising, drinking water, limiting alcohol consumption, and eliminating addictive behaviors.
There are many options to treatment for SAD, though the best treatment for you depends on the severity of your symptoms, as well as the duration for which they have been present. Don’t hesitate to contact your doctor or a professional counselor if you identify with SAD symptoms. Help is closer than you realize!
Joleen Watson, LMFT, MS, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
If you are presently engaged to be married, we send you our warmest congratulations! The time of dating and engagement is exciting and promising-- a time where couples dream of a future together and feel the promise of a great future with their soon-to-be spouse. Unfortunately, many of us don't learn the "in's and out's" of what it takes to make a marriage work, which can end up in feelings of great disappointment once the "I do's" have taken place.
So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger. As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression. In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.
18. Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.
19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
20. Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.
21. Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
22. Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
23. Stomach ulcers.
There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease. Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger? It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this! Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!
Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
In addition to what Teri, Tammy, and Natalie spoke about in their blogs, here are 3 additional tips for effective communication I see are helpful when working with couples:
Reducing defensive responses when your partner gives you constructive criticism, or when your partner shares how they are feeling about something going on in the relationship. When you become defensive and reactive, you create an unsafe environment for your partner to share their feelings.
As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process. While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?