Anger may be the emotion that first arises. We may want to yell at the person who let us down. We may want to "beat ourselves up" for the mistakes we made ourselves. However, if we tap into the feeling of disappointment, most likely there won't be any yelling or "beating up" taking place.
Yesterday we went over the characteristics of resilient children. Two of these characteristics are that a resilient child has learned how to problem solve and has been allowed to experience failure.
The Power of Failure
Failure can help a child (and an adult) develop an identity. Oftentimes we desire for children to have high self-esteem and see themselves in a good light. While this sentiment is well-intentioned, it can be misguided. Let me explain.
This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative:
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing 5 different tips to getting out of a toxic friendship. If you haven't read our earlier blogs, feel free to go back and check out the first 3 tips from earlier this week! So far, we have talked about recognizing what your role is in allowing the toxic relationship to continue, we have encouraged you to talk a neutral party and to set boundaries with the relationship. What can you do if that isn't working?
It's hard to imagine ever having to "get out" of a friendship as you would a bad relationship. Besides, they're supposed to be your friend, right? But, sometimes we befriend people who can be unhealthy and who we need to distance ourselves. If you find yourself at this crossroads with a friend, hopefully this week's tips will help.
One of the most important parts of positive communication skills is being a good listener. When you listen, a person feels cared about, important, heard, and loved. Being a good listener can help all your relationships achieve more depth and intimacy. That's why we are giving you an attainable goal each day this week to help you become a better listener.
Ever receive a small gift or thank-you note unexpectedly? Remember how special it felt to receive it? The same applies in marriage too. Let your spouse know you're thinking of them when you're apart. Figure out your mate's love language and run with it! If your spouse is someone whose love language is Verbal Affirmations, then send positive, loving texts to them throughout the day,
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing what it means to be an introvert.
Some people assume that being an introvert means that you are shy. That is not necessarily true! Introverts can be very outgoing and sociable people. In fact, many times, introverts love people-- learning about others, doing things for others, and can be very loyal, caring and loving individuals. As Christy mentioned on Monday in this weeks earlier blog series, the difference with introverts is that, usually, they need to "re-fuel" their emotional, mental, spiritual and physical "tank" by doing things that are more solitary and self-reflecting.
Characteristic #2: A Healthy Mother Doesn't Pick Favorites & Knows They Need to Love Their Children Differently
Mother's know each of their children are separate individuals, each with their own separate emotional needs, talents and abilities. While your first-born may have been a very special and unique and separate experience from your third or fourth-born, a healthy mother does not show favoritism toward any of her children.
This week we're discussing key points to pay attention to if you're in the dating world. Yesterday we discussed boundaries - to note whether or not the person you're dating exhibits them. Today we're going to discuss another key point: Responsibility.
Does the person you're dating take responsibility for their life? "Life" can mean a whole lot of things, can't it?
Does this person hold a job? Do they arrive at their place of employment on time and stay until it's time to leave? Someone who is responsible will not cut corners by showing up late and/or trying to leave early. A responsible person understands the value of hard work no matter their job title.
When discussing emotional eating, it's important to pay attention to what can trigger a person to turn to food for comfort to alleviate uncomfortable feelings. Unless we're aware of our own personal triggers, we won't be able to combat emotional eating. Below is a list of things that can trigger inside each of us the desire to eat (when we're not hungry, or to make poor food choices) in order to avoid certain feelings:
Grief/Loss of a loved one or friend
Argument/Conflict with a loved one or friend
Job loss/Job Difficulties
Shame (an internal critic "beating us up" for choices we make or actions we do)
Happiness/Joy (having a reason to celebrate and making poor choices because "I deserve this")
This list is by no means complete - there are several more things that could be added to it! Not everything on this list applies to each of us, however, does anything on this list speak to you and your need to emotional eat? We encourage you to speak to a trusted friend/pastor/counselor if you do relate to this weeks blog. Please check back in as we still have yet to discuss the difference between physical hunger & emotional hunger, the effects of emotional eating, and how to combat emotional eating. Thank you for reading!
Written by: Tamara McCord MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Food is a big part of our society. There are rarely times it is not included with socializing and celebrations. But sometimes food is misused. Many people use food for more than just nourishing their bodies to give it energy.
People emotional eat when they are using food to comfort themselves, reduce stress, and push away uncomfortable feelings.
Numbing out on food is not always a conscious thing people do. It is often an "easy" way to distract in a struggling time to get a quick fix to "feel a little bit better" in the moment. It's not common that someone will say, "I'm sad, where's the cookies."
Beware that this can be a dangerous cycle for many as they develop unhealthy coping skills and can find themselves and their health spiraling out of control.
Read more tomorrow about what triggers someone to become an emotional eater.
Written by guest blogger Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Renewed Horizons Counseling, who does virtual counseling with clients in Indiana and Florida. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.
Divorce is a major life-change that many individuals go through. It's difficult, confusing and chaotic at times. This week we'd like to offer you some recommendations to help you take are of yourself if you find yourself in the middle of a divorce:
1. Find Some Stability- Throughout this process there will be alot of disruption. Lots of meetings with lawyers & mediators, lots of packing, lots of emotions. Try to find some sort of normalcy as much as you can.