Do you ever find it difficult to sit still and just "be" without having to do something "productive" with your time? Does idle time without having a "schedule" or having something planned make you anxious? When you have "down time", are you able to just relax, or do you need to be busy and doing something?
This is the golden question, isn't it? Truth is, there's not really one correct answer to this. People lie for many different reasons, and I'm sure I won't cover all of them!
Fear- Some people lie because they're afraid of how others will react if they find out the truth. Will they still love me or will they leave me? Will I still be accepted? Will they get angry at me?
This week, Imagine Hope is discussing 5 different tips to getting out of a toxic friendship. If you haven't read our earlier blogs, feel free to go back and check out the first 3 tips from earlier this week! So far, we have talked about recognizing what your role is in allowing the toxic relationship to continue, we have encouraged you to talk a neutral party and to set boundaries with the relationship. What can you do if that isn't working?
Friendships are the sunshine in our lives. Yes, all friendships go thru problems or struggles, but for the most part, a friendship needs to be a bright spot in your life. If it's not, and usually brings you down or causes you a lot of grief, it may be toxic. Today I am going to disucss with you how to set boundaries in the relationships. There are three steps to this.
Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? Did you have the courage to "break up" with them and get out? Toxic friends often leave you feeling worse than better. They tend to cut you down rather than support you. You may feel drained, agitated, and emotionally bankrupt after time with them. They usually only take from you, and the focus is all on them.
One of books I've found to be wonderful and full of insight is So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore.
Beth addresses the main issue many women struggle with internally of insecurity. However, on the outside, this insecurity comes out as defensive, critical, controlling, & indignant behavior. In this book, Beth explores & welcomes the male perspective, how the men in each of our lives want to see us
As we continue to discuss Addictions this week, it is important to identify Relationship Addictions. We see this a lot at Imagine Hope. Again, it is one of the Addictions that is hard to recognize if you don't understand what it is. It is "acceptable". You've heard people say, and there was even a song written about it, "They are just addicted to love". This can actually happen.
I am LOVING reading this weeks blogs about dysfunctional TV families. I like to think of the beauty of family in the friendships in Golden Girls. I love how they created their own family when they were no longer with their own.
My husband has had to sit through episode after episode of All in the Family with me. It's funny because you would think someone like me would never put up with the first 20 minutes of that show.
At Imagine Hope we help many blended families. I am currently in a blended family and I come from a blended family. Perhaps that is why my sister Natalie (who I never refer to as my step sister) and I loved to watch the reruns of The Brady Bunch. Since our “group had somehow formed a family”, Natalie and I would pretend to be Marcia and Jan when we were little. We probably watched every episode multiple times. I am sure we wondered, “why can’t our older brother be as nice as Greg?” or “why can’t we have a live-in maid as nice as Alice?”
Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger. As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression. In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.
18. Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.
19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
20. Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.
21. Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
22. Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
23. Stomach ulcers.
There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease. Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger? It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this! Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!
Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Some of us are better at letting go than others. We all struggle with this concept at some point during our lives. The sensation of holding on gives us this false sense of control, security, and drains us of our energy. Sometimes, we hold on anyway because we do not know how to let go. I hope this week gives you some hints as to how to make that happen.