This week we have been walking you through the stages of Grief and Loss. The next stage is very difficult but very important. Denial, anger, and bargaining have all come and gone and you are left with....sadness and depression. This is the 4th stage in the grieving process and can be the hardest stage to move through.
All week we’ve been discussing the serious topic of self-mutilation and cutting. We’ve discussed why someone may self-harm, how to react to someone who cuts, and how to communicate concern with someone who feels tempted to hurt themselves. The next step is getting in this process is getting professional help. A trained professional can help can help with:
Have you identified the stressful areas of your life so far with this week's blog topic? Stress is something that is almost inevitable in our society today. With so many areas of life to balance, stress is bound to creep up on us once in awhile! Today, we will continue with some additional areas that stress may be causing difficulty, and discuss some tips that can help you with each.
This week we are talking about how we can avoid a panic attacks. Panic attacks are a very real and often a very scary experience! Panic disorder is developed when an individual continually interprets their body sensations to be dangerous, sometimes resulting in a belief that their very life is at risk. If this happens to you, it is important to know that there are effective ways to cope with these distressing feelings. Today, I am going to share several ways you can better cope with panic attacks when they come on.
A panic attack is a terrifying experience. If you’ve ever experienced one, you know this to be true. Panic attacks are caused by anxiety and stress—and often can be prevented. We hope this week to educate you on panic attacks triggers, ways to prevent panic attacks, and coping strategies to utilize when experiencing one.
So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger. As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression. In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.
18. Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.
19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.
20. Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.
21. Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.
22. Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.
23. Stomach ulcers.
There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease. Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger? It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this! Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!
Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
With Halloween right around the corner, we may be on a heightened alert of what scares us. This week we are talking about fear and how it impacts our lives in various ways. Parenting can often trigger fears in us that we did not even know existed! I think most of us who are parents would agree that there are times when nothing can be scarier than being a parent!
Some of us are better at letting go than others. We all struggle with this concept at some point during our lives. The sensation of holding on gives us this false sense of control, security, and drains us of our energy. Sometimes, we hold on anyway because we do not know how to let go. I hope this week gives you some hints as to how to make that happen.
This week, we are discussing abandonment issues, and the struggle that individuals with abandonment issues go through. Part 1 and part 2 describe abandonment issues, and part 3 begins to describe the stages that abandonment issues can take.
I want to reiterate what Tamara said, this is different than the normal stages of grief and loss. Everyone experiences these stages.
The abandonment we are discussing goes far beyond that. It pushes something in us that causes us to react to things differently than "normal" grief and loss would.
I am going to discuss 2 more stages today:
This stage is much like withdrawal symptoms when someone stops using drugs or alcohol, or any addiction for that matter. It is the aching, longing, the craving to have that person back. They yearn for the person to come back. The needs they were filling are more readily noticed and the void feels huge! The same as an addict, you feel the loss of appetite, not being able to sleep, staying awake trying to figure out how to get them back. You feel the true loss and separation in this stage.
This is the most critical of the stages for 2 reasons:
1. You are very vulnerable. You are walking around with an open, gaping wound! You are susceptible to being hurt even worse because of your wound. If you latch on to someone at this stage, you could easily be taken advantage of and hurt even more deeply.
2. You beat yourself up during this stage, making you even more vulnerable. You bargain with yourself. "What if I would of? I should have, could have...". Because you are doubting yourself, your self-esteem is taking a beating. This makes you a target for someone to treat you bad and to get into a bad relationship- which could start the cycle over again.
It is important during the stages of withdrawl and internalizing that you understand what is going on. Get support from family and friends who will help you and support you. This is a great time to seek counseling as well.
Tomorrow Joleen will discuss our last 2 stages. Thank you for reading.
Adapted from "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson http://www.abandonment.net/
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
With both, you experience a loss. However with grief, the more time that elapses, the intensity of the loss decreases. With abandonment, the difference is that the loss feels personal. The intensity of the loss does not decrease because it feels personal.
Many times, our clients feel confusion when the term “abandonment issues” comes up in therapy. After all, don’t we most commonly think of the literal term, “abandonment”, as being physically abandoned (like an infant who is left on a door step for someone to find) ?
So, what exactly are abandonment issues?