If you are presently engaged to be married, we send you our warmest congratulations! The time of dating and engagement is exciting and promising-- a time where couples dream of a future together and feel the promise of a great future with their soon-to-be spouse. Unfortunately, many of us don't learn the "in's and out's" of what it takes to make a marriage work, which can end up in feelings of great disappointment once the "I do's" have taken place.
This week, we have shared some really helpful tips so far in ways to decrease Holiday stress, which helps each of us to enjoy the Holiday season better. Today I'm going to go over ways we can continue the tradition of giving during the holiday season without stressing ourselves and our bank accounts.
Teri and Tamara have done such a great job sharing ways to decrease holiday stress pertaining to families. I want to share with you some tips to help you keep boundaries with yourself and everyone concerning your time. It is so easy to get caught up in everything, want to do every activity, and go to every event. It is also difficult to say no during this time. But it is important not to crowd your schedule so much that you don't enjoy the peace the season brings. Here are a few tips to navigate that.
Clients tell me all the time, “I hate the holidays”. There are many stressors as people are attending family gatherings and trying to meet everyone’s expectations for the season. We hope reading this week helps you stay focused on making this holiday season less stressful! Keep your emotional boundaries firm
This week we are focusing on what it means to "let go". This can help you with relationships, in your job, with your children, and many aspects of your life. So many things that we try to control are really not ours to control. But we try to control them anyway. Many of the things I will discuss today are related to things we can't control.
This week we are talking about the importance of creating resiliency in our children. One of the most important ways we can do this is by teaching out children about boundaries. Children need structure and routine. These provide kids with a sense of safety, security, and stability. Providing your children with a supportive, nurturing and safe environment helps them thrive, but it also provides them with a solid foundation that can be drawn upon when dealing with life stressors.
Teri, Tammy, and Natalie have all shared some great tips so far to making our communication better. Here are a few more to add to your "relationship toolbox":
Remember that communication breakdowns aren't always personal. Many times the issue at hand is linked to some deep rooted unresolved issues. Try to empathize with your partner as they are trying to heal from a painful past.
As Teri mentioned yesterday, disagreements can be healthy, as long as it's done in a respectful way. Healthy conflict can be one of the ways you and another person grow closer. It's natural for people to disappoint us in our lives, but how we handle it is key. Continue to follow tips for healthier communication steps this week, and you'll find yourself more successful at tackling difficult conversations.
Hopefully you are learning ways to handle anger this week. A reminder that anger is normal, it's how you handle it that is negative or positive. We changed gears in yesterday's blog- focusing on how we can handle someone's anger in a relationship. This is a continuation of that.
It is amazing how a calming, listening ear can calm an angry soul. Sometimes when my kids are very angry I will encourage them to tell me what is going on (after some time to cool down and get it out of course!)
Freedom #5: To take risks in one's own behalf instead of choosing to be only "secure" and not rocking the boat. We have all probably been in a situation where we've had something bothering us, but have been too afraid to bring it up or make a change because of how this confrontation might effect things.
Freedom #4: To Ask for What One Wants Instead of Always Waiting For Permission Many people struggle with telling people what they really want or need. They are afraid they will appear "needy" or not strong. Usually when someone grows up in a family where their needs were secondary or they were punished (emotionally or physically) for having needs, they grow up thinking they shouldn't (there's that word again!) have any needs.
Freedom #3: To Feel What One Feels and not what one “ought” to feel. It has happened to all of us. We are in a situation where we are “should” feel happy or sad, but really we feel something completely different. The reality is that there is no “should” when it comes to feelings. We spend a lot of time and energy denying what we truly feel or hiding our true feelings from others. Hiding or not accepting our true feelings can lead to shame or self-doubt.