Relationships

Signs of Hidden Anger: 18-23

So far, we have seen 17 different signs that can tell you if you might have hidden anger.  As Natalie and Tammy have shared, many of them can mimic signs of depression.  In 18-23, you might also recognize these signs of hidden anger can also feel similar to anxiety.

18.  Clenched jaws-- especially while sleeping.

19.  Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware.

20.  Grinding of teeth-- especially while sleeping.

21.  Chronic depression... extended periods of feeling down for no reason.

22.  Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles.

23.  Stomach ulcers.

There is a lot of research out there that suggests that people with hidden resentments and anger have higher instances of physical illness and disease such as cancer and heart disease.  Are you struggling with unresolved, hidden anger?  It could be very beneficial for you to dive into this!  Find out what it's all about and gain peace within your heart, mind, and body today!

Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

How Fear Affects Your Family Life

How Fear Affects Your Family Life

This week, Imagine Hope is honoring Halloween by discussing the different ways that (real) fear can have a negative impact on our lives.  

How does fear potentially impact our family system?

How Fear Affects Your Relationships

How Fear Affects Your Relationships

Happy Halloween! Fear is in the air. Many will celebrate with scary movies, scary songs, & scary costumes. But Halloween isn't the only time of year that we talk about, experience or notice fear.

Fear can be a constant companion in many areas of our lives. This week we want to discuss those areas and how fear can affect them.

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Being Defensive

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Being Defensive

In addition to what Teri, Tammy, and Natalie spoke about in their blogs, here are 3 additional tips for effective communication I see are helpful when working with couples:

Reducing defensive responses when your partner gives you constructive criticism, or when your partner shares how they are feeling about something going on in the relationship. When you become defensive and reactive, you create an unsafe environment for your partner to share their feelings.

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Interrupting Them

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Interrupting Them

I agree with the effective communication tips Teri and Tammy have shared and would add the following as well: 

Making a lot of assumptions about what the other partner is thinking. I see this a lot. One partner assumes what the other is thinking and reacts based on what they believe.

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Blaming Them

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Stop Blaming Them

This week we're trying to help couples prevent heartache by naming the mistakes we see most often in our office. Yesterday we discussed sweeping things under the rug, expecting a one-hour session to make everything better, & keeping work life separate from home life. Today we build on these common mistakes:

Fighting about too many things at once. It’s hard to follow a disagreement when you’re fighting about this, that, & the kitchen sink.

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Face The Issues

Communicating Effectively with Your Partner - Face The Issues

As therapists we many times see big issues in relationships start from a small mistake and grow into a bigger issue. Conquering the small issues is good prevention and protection for your relationship.

  1. Rug sweeping- Many couples will sweep issues under the rug instead of addressing them as a problem. People fear being a “nag” or complaining too much,

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 5

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 5

 "Letting Go" is a popular topic in recovery from many things-- childhood issues, addictions, codependency, and unhealthy relationships, just to name a few.  Today we will finish with this week's blog series on what it means to "let go":

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 4

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 4

This week we are focusing on what it means to "let go". This can help you with relationships, in your job, with your children, and many aspects of your life. So many things that we try to control are really not ours to control. But we try to control them anyway. Many of the things I will discuss today are related to things we can't control.

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 1

What Does It Mean to "Let Go"? Part 1

Day after day we hear people talk about the difficulty they have with letting things go. Sometimes it's related to codependency and the trouble they have with not controlling others. Sometimes it's when a person has trouble with an addict in their life. Others just have trouble letting go of old wounds and resentments. So we thought we would help our readers see what "letting go" actually means, and clear up any misconceptions about it.

    How to Forgive: Symbolism

    How to Forgive: Symbolism

    As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process.  While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?

    What is an Emotional Affair? Signs and Symptoms

    What is an Emotional Affair? Signs and Symptoms

    There are many signs of emotional affairs, if you know what to look for.  While these signs can also be related to other life issues, as well as physical or sexual infidelity, there are some common themes to look for when dealing with an emotional affair…..

    What is an Emotional Affair? What it Looks Like

    What is an Emotional Affair? What it Looks Like

    What does an emotional affair look like?

    Harry and Sally both worked at Eli Lilly. They were on the IT team together and worked on several projects as a great team. They started going out to lunch to talk shop. One day Harry was very upset about a fight he and his wife had the night before and decided to get some advice from Sally. Sally then shared her struggles in her marriage with her husband. Seem pretty innocent? Let's continue...

    What Does it Mean When You Have Abandonment Issues? Part 5

    What Does it Mean When You Have Abandonment Issues? Part 5

    Imagine Hope Counseling Group has been discussing abandonment issues this week. If you haven’t gotten a chance to read the earlier posts in this series, we encourage you to read

    What Does it Mean When You Have Abandonment Issues? Part 4

    This week, we are discussing abandonment issues, and the struggle that individuals with abandonment issues go through. Part 1 and part 2 describe abandonment issues, and part 3 begins to describe the stages that abandonment issues can take.

    I want to reiterate what Tamara said, this is different than the normal stages of grief and loss. Everyone experiences these stages.

    The abandonment we are discussing goes far beyond that. It pushes something in us that causes us to react to things differently than "normal" grief and loss would.

    I am going to discuss 2 more stages today:

    Withdrawl

    This stage is much like withdrawal symptoms when someone stops using drugs or alcohol, or any addiction for that matter. It is the aching, longing, the craving to have that person back. They yearn for the person to come back. The needs they were filling are more readily noticed and the void feels huge! The same as an addict, you feel the loss of appetite, not being able to sleep, staying awake trying to figure out how to get them back. You feel the true loss and separation in this stage.

    Internalizing

    This is the most critical of the stages for 2 reasons:

    1. You are very vulnerable. You are walking around with an open, gaping wound! You are susceptible to being hurt even worse because of your wound. If you latch on to someone at this stage, you could easily be taken advantage of and hurt even more deeply.

    2. You beat yourself up during this stage, making you even more vulnerable. You bargain with yourself. "What if I would of? I should have, could have...". Because you are doubting yourself, your self-esteem is taking a beating. This makes you a target for someone to treat you bad and to get into a bad relationship- which could start the cycle over again.

    It is important during the stages of withdrawl and internalizing that you understand what is going on. Get support from family and friends who will help you and support you. This is a great time to seek counseling as well.

    Tomorrow Joleen will discuss our last 2 stages. Thank you for reading.

    Adapted from "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson http://www.abandonment.net/

    *Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville