Parenting Teens

Parenting Styles: Expressing Feelings and Healthy Coping

Parenting Styles: Expressing Feelings and Healthy Coping

Building resiliency in children is so important. I hope you are not only learning what resiliency is this week, but seeing how you can assist your children to build it within themselves. It's so important for positive emotional health.

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries With Teens Part 4

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries With Teens Part 4

Today we'll discuss three hot topics for teenagers that parents need to model in order to teach healthy relationships. These three hot topics are: mutual respect, manipulation and manners.

The first place a teenager sees relationship is at home between his/her parents or with her parent's relationships.  This makes it crucial that a teen sees a mutually respectful relationship between two people.  Many times, in our office, we see teens who are brought to counseling for disrespectful behaviors.  One of the first things we look at is how the teen is learning those behaviors and whether or not the teen is witnessing disrespectful behaviors with their parents relationships.

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries with Teens Part 2

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries with Teens Part 2

Ahhh, teenagers. Gotta love 'em. They question authority, push boundaries, and are so creative in their thinking. That's why as parents, it's best to be prepared, be specific, and be clear. Yesterday Christy discussed why teens need boundaries in the first place, and why technology boundaries specifically are crucial. Today we'll tackle another important area for teens: Dating.

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries with Teens Part 1

Summer's Here! Setting Boundaries with Teens Part 1

This week on Imagine Hope’s blog, we are tackling an important yet often controversial topic—setting boundaries with teens. Your teenager will never, ever tell you this—but they crave boundaries. Just like adults want consistency, routine, and to know what is expected of them, teens unknowingly want much of the same. Boundaries create a sense of security, comfort, and an expectation of what is/is not acceptable.

Tips To Nurture Relationships Part 2

Tips To Nurture Relationships Part 2

Opportunities to Build Trust

Trust is an essential ingredient in every relationship. Trust is extremely important in marriages, romantic relationships, with our children and other family members. When the person we're in a relationship with feels a lack of trust with us, they lose hope and a sense resentment starts to build.

Failure to Launch Part 4

Failure to Launch Part 4

I was at a conference when I heard a well known and respected Psychologist, Henry Cloud, tell a wonderful story. It was about a couple he had counseled. They were sick and tired of their 21 year-old son living with them. He didn't contribute financially or with any of the household chores. They wanted to know how they could fix their son's problem. Henry looked at them and said, "Your son doesn't have a problem. He has it made. YOU all have a problem!" 

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 4

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 4

Today we will wrap up with more discipline techniques and tips to add to your parenting tool box!

  • Use role reversals.  For example, when speaking to your child, ask them "If you were the mom/dad, what would you do?"
  • Provide a rich environment and opportunities.  Give your child good learning opportunities and allow them to see a good model for relationships and healthy conflict skills.

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 2

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 2

Parenting is a fantastically fun job.  However, it is the hardest most important job in the world.  Part of our responsibility as a parent is to teach our children.  The word discipline derives from the Greek word that means “to teach”.  Positive discipline is just that, opportunities to teach our children, not punish them. 

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 1

Positive Discipline Techniques Part 1

Parenting is a hard job- especially when it comes to disciplining your child. Discipline should be something parents do as a way to teach children right from wrong and to give them appropriate boundaries. This week we are giving you some tips that can help with this challenging part of parenting.

Roles for Parenting Teens-Part 1

Roles for Parenting Teens-Part 1

Parenting a teen can be an extremely stressful stage for parents. They often feel overwhelmed and sucked into the wild roller coaster ride of adolescence. This can leave a parent unsure of what a healthy role looks like.  This week Imagine Hope will help you see 4 key roles you should adopt when parenting the teens in your home.

Ways Parents Sabotage Counseling- 5

Ways Parents Sabotage Counseling- 5

No doubt, as a parent, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do things the right way.  As a parent, it's a very vulnerable feeling to wonder if you might actually be doing something to contribute to your child's struggles.  Therapy is a safe place for your child to discuss not only the things they are struggling with, but to share some of the things they see in their family system that are difficult for them to cope with.

Ways Parents Sabotage Counseling-1

Ways Parents Sabotage Counseling-1

This week on the blog we are discussing the importance of a parent’s role in their child’s counseling.  So often, children do not receive the help that they need—not because their parents don’t care, but because their parents may not understand the ways they are sabotaging counseling.  This week we hope to provide tips and encouragement so that all children and adolescents get the help that they need.

Communication Tips for Parents Part 2

Here are some more tips Imagine Hope is offering parents to better connect with your children and teens:

  • Ask open ended questions (questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no").
  • Even when you are busy, give them some undivided attention. It shows they are still a priority to you.
  • Respect them. If you want them to respect you, you should do the same to them.
  • Avoid name calling, put downs, and aggressive words. This can greatly damage their self-esteem and make them feel not good enough.
  • Be a good role model. They learn from watching you. So be careful what you do, they might pick it up.
  • Don't interrupt.
  • Say "I love you" at all ages.

Stay tuned for more tips as the week continues!

Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

Setting Boundaries with Teens – Technology

This week on Imagine Hope’s blog, we are tackling an important yet often controversial topic—setting boundaries with teens. Your teenager will never, ever tell you this—but they crave boundaries. Just like adults want consistency, routine, and to know what is expected of them, teens unknowingly want much of the same. Boundaries create a sense of security, comfort, and an expectation of what is/is not acceptable.

If you can remember being a teen yourself, you may recall how difficult it was. Between the hormones, pressures of school, dating, body image issues, drama, and acne—your teenage years may not be the highlight of your life. If you think it was hard when you were a teen, imagine how difficult it is in this day in age (remember, we survived our teens years without the added pressures of social media, cyberbullying, body shaming online, and the permanency of digital pictures).

Teens Need Technology Boundaries

I cannot begin to count the number of parents I meet who trust their teenagers. This may sound like a funny statement. Of course you want to trust your teens! But as a therapist who works with teens, I see a lot. Unfortunately, I often see the bad side of the wonderful technology that is available today. I see parents who trust their teens and forget that their teenagers do not think like adults. They have the attitude of “Not my kid” or “My teen would never do THAT”.

Let me tell you something—your teen would do THAT.  Your teen would send nude pictures. I’ve seen it happen to teenagers from all walks of life. They don’t have the foresight to understand the long-term consequences of hitting that “send” button. They don’t understand that sending and receiving nude pictures is possession of child pornography if the person is under the age of 18. They don’t understand that nothing is ever fully erased.

Your teen will post dumb things online on their social media accounts or send texts. Things that cannot be erased and may haunt them for a lifetime. Your teen will do this because their brain is still developing, and they don’t have the insight to understand how their choices now can impact them later.

So, please set technology boundaries so that you can protect your teenager. Monitor their phones, social media accounts, and computers. I know some will argue that this is an invasion of privacy. You are correct, it is. But in this day and age, your children need parented more than ever before. Don’t be naïve and think that your teen is immune to all of this. Set appropriate boundaries to be proactive, instead of being reactive when a crisis arises.

I tell parents that I work with that if you are going to provide a phone, computer, or tablet to your teenagers, you have a right to ask to see it whenever you want. You need to have passwords to all devices as well as to social media accounts. This is the only way that you can assure that your teens are trustworthy. Don’t just assume.

Please check back this week to read about more ways to set boundaries with teenagers.

Written by: Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.  Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling.  Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.