Building resiliency in children is so important. I hope you are not only learning what resiliency is this week, but seeing how you can assist your children to build it within themselves. It's so important for positive emotional health.
Yesterday we went over the characteristics of resilient children. Two of these characteristics are that a resilient child has learned how to problem solve and has been allowed to experience failure.
The Power of Failure
Failure can help a child (and an adult) develop an identity. Oftentimes we desire for children to have high self-esteem and see themselves in a good light. While this sentiment is well-intentioned, it can be misguided. Let me explain.
By now, you are aware of what "enmeshment" is and how to know if you are in an enmeshed relationship (see earlier blog posts this week). What are the dangers of being in an enmeshed relationship?
Loss of self. When you are in an enmeshed relationship, you lose your identity. You ultimately lose the parts of your "self" that made the other person fall in love with you to begin with!
Today we'll discuss three hot topics for teenagers that parents need to model in order to teach healthy relationships. These three hot topics are: mutual respect, manipulation and manners.
The first place a teenager sees relationship is at home between his/her parents or with her parent's relationships. This makes it crucial that a teen sees a mutually respectful relationship between two people. Many times, in our office, we see teens who are brought to counseling for disrespectful behaviors. One of the first things we look at is how the teen is learning those behaviors and whether or not the teen is witnessing disrespectful behaviors with their parents relationships.
Ahhh, teenagers. Gotta love 'em. They question authority, push boundaries, and are so creative in their thinking. That's why as parents, it's best to be prepared, be specific, and be clear. Yesterday Christy discussed why teens need boundaries in the first place, and why technology boundaries specifically are crucial. Today we'll tackle another important area for teens: Dating.
This week on Imagine Hope’s blog, we are tackling an important yet often controversial topic—setting boundaries with teens. Your teenager will never, ever tell you this—but they crave boundaries. Just like adults want consistency, routine, and to know what is expected of them, teens unknowingly want much of the same. Boundaries create a sense of security, comfort, and an expectation of what is/is not acceptable.
I think as a society in general, we tend to focus on what we are doing "wrong" as parents. I love what we are doing this week as we focus on what a healthy Mom looks like vs. what we are all doing wrong. Today we are going to focus on discipline. Discipline is about Teaching, not just Punishment When we think of discipline we often think of punishment. But the actual word "disciple" comes from the word "discipline" because it is about teaching.
Characteristic #2: A Healthy Mother Doesn't Pick Favorites & Knows They Need to Love Their Children Differently
Mother's know each of their children are separate individuals, each with their own separate emotional needs, talents and abilities. While your first-born may have been a very special and unique and separate experience from your third or fourth-born, a healthy mother does not show favoritism toward any of her children.
So far this week we have discussed the natural states of children. We have discussed that a child naturally feels valuable and vulnerable. Today we explore how the natural state of being imperfect can be used against a child in dysfunctional families. Healthy parents expect our children to be imperfect. We know our children will learn and grow and make mistakes along the way. That is how children learn!
Opportunities to Build Trust
Trust is an essential ingredient in every relationship. Trust is extremely important in marriages, romantic relationships, with our children and other family members. When the person we're in a relationship with feels a lack of trust with us, they lose hope and a sense resentment starts to build.