Healthy Living

Parenting Styles: Allow Failure

Parenting Styles: Allow Failure

Yesterday we went over the characteristics of resilient children. Two of these characteristics are that a resilient child has learned how to problem solve and has been allowed to experience failure.

The Power of Failure

Failure can help a child (and an adult) develop an identity. Oftentimes we desire for children to have high self-esteem and see themselves in a good light. While this sentiment is well-intentioned, it can be misguided. Let me explain.

What are Risks for Teen Suicide? Part 2

What are Risks for Teen Suicide? Part 2

Yesterday's blog talked about statistics and facts and today we're going to address a few risk factors for teens. There are times in a teen's life where certain things can cause them to be more at risk for, or vulnerable to suicide. Some of these include:

Teen Depression

The Five Freedoms: Taking Risks

The Five Freedoms:  Taking Risks

Freedom #5:  To take risks in one's own behalf instead of choosing to be only "secure" and not rocking the boat. We have all probably been in a situation where we've had something bothering us, but have been too afraid to bring it up or make a change because of how this confrontation might effect things.

The Five Freedoms: To Feel

The Five Freedoms: To Feel

Freedom #3: To Feel What One Feels and not what one “ought” to feel. It has happened to all of us.  We are in a situation where we are “should” feel happy or sad, but really we feel something completely different.  The reality is that there is no “should” when it comes to feelings.  We spend a lot of time and energy denying what we truly feel or hiding our true feelings from others.  Hiding or not accepting our true feelings can lead to shame or self-doubt.

The Five Freedoms: To Say

The Five Freedoms: To Say

Freedom #2: To Say What One Feels and Thinks Instead of What One Should Feel and Think There's that "Should" word again. Whenever you use the word "Should", you're placing judgement on something/yourself. "I Should feel this way" I Should think this way".....basically you're trying to talk yourself into CHANGING your feelings.

The Five Freedoms: To See And Hear

The Five Freedoms: To See And Hear

Virginia Satir was a pioneer in the therapy world in bringing amazing concepts to life to help individuals, families, and couples. She looked at the importance of the "experience" of life and how to make it a positive one. She connected the importance of our 5 senses and what impact they have on our experiences.

Secrets: Healthy Secrets

Secrets:  Healthy Secrets

You might be surprised to know that there are secrets that are indeed "healthy". Support4Change.com gives a great rule of thumb. They say: "Healthy Secrets bring you closer to your loved ones, while toxic secrets create barriers". Healthy secrets build relationships & create a sense of closeness between you and another person. So, what exactly are some examples of a Healthy Secret? Here are some below:

Create Fireworks In Your Marriage....With a Little Space

Create Fireworks In Your Marriage....With a Little Space

Ever receive a small gift or thank-you note unexpectedly? Remember how special it felt to receive it? The same applies in marriage too. Let your spouse know you're thinking of them when you're apart. Figure out your mate's love language and run with it! If your spouse is someone whose love language is Verbal Affirmations, then send positive, loving texts to them throughout the day,

How to Find Peace in Life Part 3

How to Find Peace in Life Part 3

This week, we are discussing the ever sought after goal of many of our clients— peace.  Peace of heart, peace of mind, a peaceful home, peaceful relationships, or a peaceful work environment. The issues we see in our office that bring couples, families and individuals to therapy may vary, but underneath the presenting problem is usually the same core struggle: Whatever is going on in their life feels chaotic, unsettling, insecure, or just simply without peace.

How to Find Peace in Life Part 1

How to Find Peace in Life Part 1

Many times in our offices we encounter individuals and couples who have a deep sense of inner turmoil and feelings of dissatisfaction.  Peace seems to be a concept that only certain "lucky" people acquire or maybe even a concept that isn't even attainable at all. 

This week we want to discuss how even in the midst of trial, grief, and crisis, peace can not only be present, but tangibly felt too. The Serenity Prayer

Characteristics of a Healthy Mother Part 2

Characteristics of a Healthy Mother Part 2

Characteristic #2: A Healthy Mother Doesn't Pick Favorites & Knows They Need to Love Their Children Differently

Mother's know each of their children are separate individuals, each with their own separate emotional needs, talents and abilities. While your first-born may have been a very special and unique and separate experience from your third or fourth-born, a healthy mother does not show favoritism toward any of her children.

What Drives Your Life? The Need For Approval

As Rick Warren states, "One key to failure is to try to please everyone".  Sound familiar? Many of us grew up in a home where we constantly tried to get the approval from our parents or other important people in our lives, only to feel like we constantly fell short of this.  As adults, we might try to continue this cycle by trying to make everyone like us or think we are "good".

When we allow the expectations of parents, friends, teachers, peers, or other people to control our lives, we aren't fulfilling our true purpose in life.  After all, other's opinions of us don't truly make us "good", even though it's nice to think other people hold us in a favorable light.

When we allow other's opinions of us to run our life and constantly seek the approval of others, we don't follow a path in life that gives us true joy and fulfillment.  Other people may expect things from you that are not only unrealistic, but may not even be on your radar for what makes you happy.  As Rick Warren also states, "Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it".

Does approval seeking drive your life?  If so, stop and ask yourself what YOU need from your life to feel fulfilled and to feel truly connected to your purpose.  If you are listening to the opinions of others over your own, you will miss your purpose and cause yourself unnecessary stress!

Source:  The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Joleen Watson, MS, LMFT, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

Myths About Love - Part 2

Myths About Love - Part 2

 This week we want to address some common misperceptions about love. Love can be a wonderful experience when it is mature, based in reality and honest. Love can be hurtful when we enter it with misperceptions. Here are some common myths about love:

How To Love Yourself Part 2

How To Love Yourself Part 2

As Teri shared yesterday, an inability to love ourselves extends to being unable to accept love from others. But where do we start? It's easier said than done, but there are manageable starting points for each of us. This week we're going to discuss ways that we can love ourselves. Some ways will apply and some will not.