I think as a society in general, we tend to focus on what we are doing "wrong" as parents. I love what we are doing this week as we focus on what a healthy Mom looks like vs. what we are all doing wrong. Today we are going to focus on discipline. Discipline is about Teaching, not just Punishment When we think of discipline we often think of punishment. But the actual word "disciple" comes from the word "discipline" because it is about teaching.
This week we are examining what characteristics make a healthy mother. Most moms want to do their best to raise happy well- adjusted children. We are often blamed for the troubles of our children by the media, psychological theories (thanks Freud) and most of all, other mothers. The best way to inoculate our families from the harmful effects of the universe is attunement. No I am not talking about barber shop style acapella singing groups (thank goodness), but really connecting with, or being in tune with your child. Attunement is being aware of, and responding to your child. This is not an easy task. Mothers are famous for being pulled in a myriad of different directions, so staying attuned with your child takes planning and effort. Keep your eye on the prize: Attunement
Characteristic #2: A Healthy Mother Doesn't Pick Favorites & Knows They Need to Love Their Children Differently
Mother's know each of their children are separate individuals, each with their own separate emotional needs, talents and abilities. While your first-born may have been a very special and unique and separate experience from your third or fourth-born, a healthy mother does not show favoritism toward any of her children.
This week's blog is such an important topic. If you the parent are aware and better informed, then you can pass on this information to your children as well. Here are two more tips on how to protect your kids from predators:
- Explain how predators work on the internet. Tell your kids to never give out their personal information (name, address, phone number, school, friends names, etc...) without your approval first.
Have you ever heard a friend or family member complain about their adult child still living in their basement? This phenomenon is called “Failure to Launch”. This week at Imagine Hope we will be discussing what failure to launch is, the impacts and consequences, and how to address it should you find your adult children still living with you.
I am LOVING reading this weeks blogs about dysfunctional TV families. I like to think of the beauty of family in the friendships in Golden Girls. I love how they created their own family when they were no longer with their own.
My husband has had to sit through episode after episode of All in the Family with me. It's funny because you would think someone like me would never put up with the first 20 minutes of that show.
At Imagine Hope we help many blended families. I am currently in a blended family and I come from a blended family. Perhaps that is why my sister Natalie (who I never refer to as my step sister) and I loved to watch the reruns of The Brady Bunch. Since our “group had somehow formed a family”, Natalie and I would pretend to be Marcia and Jan when we were little. We probably watched every episode multiple times. I am sure we wondered, “why can’t our older brother be as nice as Greg?” or “why can’t we have a live-in maid as nice as Alice?”
At Imagine Hope we hear a lot of stories from clients about their families. As we watch how the media portrays families, we see that many of our clients can relate to the stories we see on TV. Each day this week we will dig into some popular families and draw from their positive traits and dysfunctions.
Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
Divorce takes a child's normal and flips it upside down. There is more research today available about the impact of divorce on kids than when my parents divorced when I was 10. "Helping Your kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" is THE best resource I have found for parents as they navigate their way through parenting after divorce.
This week, we have shared some really helpful tips so far in ways to decrease Holiday stress, which helps each of us to enjoy the Holiday season better. Today I'm going to go over ways we can continue the tradition of giving during the holiday season without stressing ourselves and our bank accounts.