Evaluate your relationships and make whatever life adjustments you feel are necessary. During a divorce, you might encounter many "Monday Morning Quarterbacks"... the people who feel like they need to give you advice on what you should have done differently, or those that might think you need to hear them repeatedly "bash" your soon-to-be-ex. Perhaps there are people around you that encourage you do things that are self-destructive (like trying to set you up on a date, thinking it will ease your transition period...
Divorce takes a child's normal and flips it upside down. There is more research today available about the impact of divorce on kids than when my parents divorced when I was 10. "Helping Your kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" is THE best resource I have found for parents as they navigate their way through parenting after divorce.
This week, we have shared some really helpful tips so far in ways to decrease Holiday stress, which helps each of us to enjoy the Holiday season better. Today I'm going to go over ways we can continue the tradition of giving during the holiday season without stressing ourselves and our bank accounts.
Clients tell me all the time, “I hate the holidays”. There are many stressors as people are attending family gatherings and trying to meet everyone’s expectations for the season. We hope reading this week helps you stay focused on making this holiday season less stressful! Keep your emotional boundaries firm
In addition to what Teri, Tammy, and Natalie spoke about in their blogs, here are 3 additional tips for effective communication I see are helpful when working with couples:
Reducing defensive responses when your partner gives you constructive criticism, or when your partner shares how they are feeling about something going on in the relationship. When you become defensive and reactive, you create an unsafe environment for your partner to share their feelings.
Some of us are better at letting go than others. We all struggle with this concept at some point during our lives. The sensation of holding on gives us this false sense of control, security, and drains us of our energy. Sometimes, we hold on anyway because we do not know how to let go. I hope this week gives you some hints as to how to make that happen.
As Natalie discussed yesterday in Part 4 of our blog series on forgiveness, it's important to try and hang onto forgiveness, once you have gone through the steps of the process. While she discussed some different ways you can make the commitment to forgiveness, what happens if you are struggling with this, and the memories continue to come back?
Many times, our clients feel confusion when the term “abandonment issues” comes up in therapy. After all, don’t we most commonly think of the literal term, “abandonment”, as being physically abandoned (like an infant who is left on a door step for someone to find) ?
So, what exactly are abandonment issues?
Teri, Tammy, and Natalie have all shared some great tips so far to making our communication better. Here are a few more to add to your "relationship toolbox":
Remember that communication breakdowns aren't always personal. Many times the issue at hand is linked to some deep rooted unresolved issues. Try to empathize with your partner as they are trying to heal from a painful past.