You might be surprised to know there are secrets that are indeed "healthy". Support4Change.com gives a great rule of thumb. They say: "Healthy Secrets bring you closer to your loved ones, while toxic secrets create barriers." Healthy secrets build relationships & create a sense of closeness between you and another person. So, what exactly are some examples of a Healthy Secret? Here are some below:
- Doing a chore/household responsibility to help someone out, and don't tell them you did it.
- Throwing someone a surprise birthday party, or buying someone a gift, and keeping it a secret until their birthday.
- A close friend using you as a confidant and you keep their secret. It would not be appropriate for you to run out and share with your other friends what this particular friend entrusted to you.
- In romantic relationships sharing your inner most thoughts back and forth with each other about outside family members. You trust your partner to keep your secrets/confidence.
- If you think something hurtful about someone (For example, "Wow, she does not look good in that dress!"). Keeping that to yourself is healthy!
These are just some examples of healthy secrets, there are many more, but I think you get the idea. Thursday we'll discuss how both Toxic secrets & Healthy Secrets can impact relationships. Thank you for reading!
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.