Self-talk is so important! How we speak to ourselves determines how we feel and how we act. If we believe negative things, then naturally, we'll feel negative as well. This is why it is so important to fight against these negative thinking patterns. Here are the alternatives: 5. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s”. What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to you?
Alternative: "I'm going to stay in the moment. I cannot control what happens in the future. If I worry about things that may or may not occur in the future, I lose out on things that are going on right now in the present".
6. Personalization: Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc.
Alternative: "Each of us has special talents and abilities, including myself. There are going to be people who are better at some things than I am, but this does not determine my self-worth. Other people do not determine my value & if I keep comparing myself to others, I will feel inadequate. I determine my self-value. Instead of comparing myself to others, I am going to focus on my own talents and abilities.
7. Control Fallacies: If you feel externally (outside) controlled, you see yourself as helpless & a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal (inside) control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.
Alternative: "I am not a helpless victim. I cannot control others, but I can take care of myself and take responsibility for the relationships or situations I choose to be a part of." (For Fallacy of Internal Control) "I can only take responsibility for myself, which is 50% of any relationship that I am in. I am in charge of my emotions, not anyone else's".
8. Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair, but other people won’t agree with you.
Alternative: " Maybe I don't know what's fair. I need to be open to other people's opinions too."
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.