Seeing Yourself in a New Way-1

This week on the blog, we are discussing how to reframe the way you look at yourself—and spin it into something positive! We all have character traits that we probably don’t like or wish we could change. We hope this week that you will recognize that positive can come from what we perceive to be negative: When I was younger, I wished I had a big personality. You know, the kind of personality that is loud, big, funny, and everyone loves. I wanted to have the confidence to walk into a room and be the center of attention. I wanted to be the one who had so many friends because everyone was drawn to them. I thought that if I could achieve this, everything else in my life would change too.

If you know me, you know I don’t have a big personality AT ALL. I’m an extrovert but I can be quiet. In big groups, I am not the loudest, funniest, etc. In fact, I often sit back and watch the dynamics occurring in the room between everyone (which probably explains why I’m a therapist).

I used to view my quiet extrovert-ness as a weakness. I thought it would hold me back both socially and professionally. The older I get, the more I recognize that it actually is a strength. I’ve been told that people are drawn to me, not because I’m a huge personality, but because I have a calming personality. The older I get, the more my confidence has increased—but so has my acceptance of who I am at my core. I am just not a big personality. And that’s ok!

I also have realized the value in the quality of friends I have versus the quantity of friends. The friendships I have are more about deep connection and support than about being “surfacey” or being plentiful. Also, I can be funny in small groups, but I’m never going to be the funniest—and I’ve learned to accept that.

What about you? What traits do you view as negative that you need to view as positive?

Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW

Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.

Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.