This week we are talking about tangible ways to keep a relationship connection. Notice we didn't say "easy". Unfortunately with the busyness of life, it's not easy to to make our relationships a priority. It can be difficult to find the time to do things to keep them maintained. Relationships are like plants. If you neglect them, they will slowly wither up and die. It's important to have good maintenance.
#4 Share the Load
Do you know one of the most common ways anger builds up in a relationship? When one person carries too much of the load. We see it in almost every couple. The person carrying the largest amount of the household chores, upkeep, helping with the kids etc. seems to be angry about it. They feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. Many times they have a spouse who can't understand why they are always upset or angry.
Look at the load in your relationship. Who carries the majority? If it's not you, you might want to ask your partner how they feel about it. You might be surprised with their answer.
If they do feel upset, hurt, or angry, ask them specific things you can do to lighten their load. Here's the most important thing: follow through! Don't just do it once. Often that feeds the anger even more. Make an intentional commitment to continue doing what they ask. I often ask my clients what they do to remind themselves to do things at work. Use that method! Whether it's a post-it note, a reminder on your computer or phone, or whatever you can think of to remember. Make your relationship as important as work.
If your partner still seems angry after you're helping, there may be a more deep issue going on. Talk to them about that as well.
Hopefully these suggestions have been helpful this week. Try doing at least one of the suggestions this week and ease into it. Set a reminder on your phone to do another one next week (or however you remember things), in addition to the one you did this week. At the end of the month you will have added 4 positive things to your relationship!
Tomorrow Joleen will finish up this weeks blog with one more idea. Thank you for reading and have a great day!
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville