"Dysfunctional" Love Songs Part 2

I like what Teri said yesterday about singing along with a song, but not really "listening" to what the song is about. I did that with this song for a while, but then when I really listened, it changed my view of this song forever. Take a read:  "Every Breath You Take" by The Police

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you

Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

O can't you see You belong to me How my poor heart aches with every step you take

Every move you make Every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace I dream at night I can only see your face I look around but it's you I can't replace I feel so cold and I long for your embrace I keep crying baby, baby please

Every move you make Every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I'll be watching you

Instead of this song being by The Police, it may make you want to call the police! Talk about stalking! Wow, when you read the words of a song without the soothing or upbeat music behind it, you get the real message. I encourage everyone to do that sometime. Just read the lyrics of a song. What does it say to you? This song by The Police actually feels dark and sinister when you read the words. "You belong to me" That's actually very controlling. We are still individuals even when we're in a relationship. We may have obligations to someone, but we don't belong to someone.  And the way they talk about "I'll be watching you" ("every breath you take, every move you make, every step you take"...) Again, controlling, scary and subliminally threatening.  

As Teri pointed out yesterday, it's important to make sure you're not letting these songs become a reality in your relationships. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned as we have two more days of songs coming your way!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.