Oh, boundaries. How often do we speak of you?! Quite often actually. However, it's not just speaking about boundaries that get's the job done, it's action. How I spend my evenings/free time.
Six to seven years ago, you could find me coming home from work, grabbing something to eat and plopping down on the couch to watch tv.....for the entire evening. Almost every night of the week I had a favorite television show (or two) to watch. While I don't have a lot of evening time after getting off work, it began to be bothersome to me how mind-numbing my evenings were becoming.
Slowly, I stopped watching one TV show at a time - and realized I didn't miss the show at all. Eventually, I would hardly turn the TV on at all when I'd get home.
As we recommend here at Imagine Hope, when we take something away from ourselves, we need to replace it with something healthy. I found myself reading more, exercising, walking my dog more often and volunteering my time at my church and local non-profits.
Looking back, I found that the television was depleting me, yet the activities I replaced the television with were adding to my life, and the life of others. And my doggie sure is grateful too!
Don't get me wrong, I still watch TV. And I can still get in ruts where I'm plopped on the couch rather than reading or exercising. However, I do have this boundary I've set for myself. The boundary isn't too strict and I've made it specific to my needs and lifestyle.
It's important when setting boundaries to keep a good balance in mind and to make sure the boundaries we're setting aren't too fluid (wishy-washy) or too strict.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.