Do you ever catch yourself saying or doing the following with your partner? These can be some huge communication red flags: I don’t really listen
When you are working towards becoming a good communicator, you need to be just as good at listening as you are at talking. If your partner is pouring their heart and soul out to you, and you are only giving them a portion of your attention, things are never going to get resolved. If your partner doesn’t feel heard by you, eventually they’re going to stop trying. At that point, you will have an even bigger problem on your hands.
I repay anger with anger or insult with insult
Sometimes your partner is going to say mean things or insult you. When your heart is full of revenge, you allow yourself to go there too by returning the insults, names, or blows. Just know that this does nothing but continue to drive a bigger wedge between the two of you. If your partner says hurtful things to you, you need to confront them in healthy way instead of returning the blows.
I tease my partner too much
It’s fun to joke around with your partner and have fun together. However, it’s very easy to cross a line where you make your partner the butt of all your jokes, degrade them, or criticize them. If you’re unsure if you’re crossing lines with your partner, ask them if they are comfortable with the things you say and the level that you tease them.
I talk about really important things rarely
If you find yourself avoiding controversial topics just to dodge an argument, you probably have some communication issues in your relationship. Just because you avoid things, doesn’t mean they just go away. Make sure that you are not dodging the “elephants in the room” with your partner. If something needs to be discussed, realize that it can be addressed using healthy ways of confrontation and communication. If you and your partner struggle with this, you may need to seek professional help.
I often lie by omission
This is a huge red flag. The moment you start conveniently leaving out details or keeping “secrets” from your partner, you are heading down a scary path. Lying by omission is usually step one of how affairs start. You don’t have to tell your partner absolutely everything. However, if you find yourself purposefully avoiding telling your partner about something, you really need to look at your motive. Honesty is typically the best policy.
Continue to read this week for more tips on becoming a better communicator with your partner!
Written by Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW
Christy Fogg, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Christy enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Christy also provides family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.
Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.