More Anger Busters! Set Positive Limits Tell your child what you expect from them. Instead of "Quit tapping on the table!" say something like "Once your done tapping on the table we will finish your homework. Then you can go out and play". When my kids are throwing a tantrum my favorite thing to say is "When you're done having a fit let me know and I'll be ready to listen to you." Then I walk away. It works like a charm every time. They don't have an audience and they KNOW (from past experience) that I'm not going to listen.
The bottom line is, yes, kids should just magically stop doing what we tell them to do. We shouldn't have to give an explanation of what will happen if they don't stop. But they are kids and they DO need reminders (unfortunately). So letting them know when they stop a behavior something positive will happen, will actually help the situation.
Redirect Energy Bursts
Sometimes we forget that someone had to teach us positive ways of coping with our anger (or at least we hope someone taught you!) Our kids need tools to work through anger, too. Giving them a toolbox with positive ways to direct their anger will help. Then you can ask them to get a tool and use it when they are angry.
For example, have them redirect their energy from their anger into jumping up and down, running, or artwork. Have them hit a pillow, scream in a pillow, or go outside and go for a brisk walk (if they are old enough.) Have your kids come up with a plan before they get angry so they don't have to think about it and can pull it from their toolbox.
Hopefully you are coming up with creative ways to help your kids with their anger. Remember, anger is not a bad thing. It's normal and we just need to learn to manage it.
Thank you for reading. See you tomorrow.
Source: Focus on The Family. “Anger Busters For Kids” by Lynne Thompson
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville