Let's admit it...we all come unglued at times. Some of us are loud and reactive, others let the frustration simmer until and explosion happens, while others stuff the emotion so deep it blocks them from connection. How do you "do" unglued?
Lysa Terkeurst, in her book "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions", helps us understand the 2 main ways people come unglued...by exploding and stuffing.
Exploding means that you are pushing emotion outward. It doesn't matter if it is a loud temper tantrum, or a quiet passive aggressive dig. Most exploders feel better at first to get it all out, but that often goes away when they realize that pain has been caused by the explosion. There are 2 types of exploders: Ones who shame themselves and ones who blames other.
Stuffing is when people push their emotion inward. As the hurt wallows inside it grows and hardens like a rock to be thrown later, or like a wall to block others from getting close. There are 2 types of stuffers: Ones who build barriers and ones who collect retaliation rocks.
Which one are you? A stuffer? An exploder? What about both! It isn't uncommon to fit into both categories depending on the situation and/or people you are interacting with.
Read the rest of the week about both types of exploders and stuffers! Remember that building insight around these issues is the first step to changing them!
Source: Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa Terkeurst
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.