The Five Levels of Intimacy: 5-My Needs, Emotions & Desires

As we have previously discussed, there are five main levels of intimacy in relationships.  When beginning to date, or when working on rebuilding a relationship, it's important to move through each of the levels before jumping to the next.  This builds a more solid foundation for the relationship and makes intimacy greater. Level 5:  My needs, emotions and desires

This is the highest level of intimacy in relationships.  It requires a great amount of trust, because it's the level where we are allowing ourself to be known at our deepest core.

The motto at this stage, is:  If I can't trust that you won't reject me, then I will never be able to share my deepest self with you.

Once you let someone see who you really are, there is no escape from this, and it can feel intimidating-- but SO rewarding!  This can feel risky because when you open yourself up to someone, you are at your most vulnerable with them.  When we share things like "I'm hurt when you don't call", " or "I want to spend my life with you", you are sharing your hurts, but also your needs and desires.  This level is also where we share our emotional responses to things, which is why we tend to save this kind of intimacy for our closest loved ones, like our spouse and family.

Without all five stages of intimacy, you can't achieve true intimacy.  What stages have you gone through in your relationship?

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.