Teri did a great job yesterday explaining the primary emotions. A reminder is that the primary feeling words are Angry, Sad, Afraid, Lonely, Ashamed and Guilty. We're discussing how defenses get in the way of showing our feelings.
When we use Sarcasm, are Threatening toward others, or Attacking in our words or actions (all defensive behavior), other people see us as stubborn, defiant and/or hostile.
Our defenses hide our feelings, and therefore others aren't able to understand how we really feel about situations if all they see are our defenses.
For example, sarcasm is generally hidden anger, or sadness that has hardened. People generally use sarcasm when they're hurt or frustrated with someone. Threatening behavior is connected to feelings of being afraid or anxious, or can even be connected to feeling lonely (feeling left out or forgotten).
The goal is to share the feeling, making yourself vulnerable as Teri mentioned yesterday, so that you no longer have to hide your feelings.
Thank you for reading and please check back in as the week continues for we have several more defenses to share!
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.