The Five Freedoms: To Ask For What You Want

Freedom #4: To Ask for What One Wants Instead of Always Waiting For Permission Many people struggle with telling people what they really want or need. They are afraid they will appear "needy" or not strong. Usually when someone grows up in a family where their needs were secondary or they were punished (emotionally or physically) for having needs, they grow up thinking they shouldn't (there's that word again!) have any needs.

Some people feel that other people should already know what they need. They say things like, "If I have to tell them what I need, they don't really love me". This is not true. We cannot read each other's minds. It is important to tell people what you need or want, without expecting them to already know or read your mind.

It is also okay to have needs. As I mentioned, some people view themselves as weak if they have needs or wants. This is not true. It takes a strong, self-assured person to state what they need and what you can do to meet that need. It takes strength to know when we have had enough and need help from others.

You don't have to wait for someone to tell you it is okay to need something. You don't have to push someone to give you permission to ask for help. You have a right to have needs. It is freeing when you can actually state what you need and even better when the need is met because you stated your what it was!

So please don't wait for permission to state what you need or want in a relationship. Let others know so they can have the gift of giving you what you need.

Thank you for reading and we hope you have a blessed day. Joleen will let us know the last freedom tomorrow.

Adapted from The Five Freedoms by Virginia Satir

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville