This week we want to address some common misperceptions about love. Love can be a wonderful experience when it is mature, based in reality and honest. Love can be hurtful when we enter it with misperceptions. Here are some common myths about love:
Love Is Temporary
There are some people whose feelings change for their significant other very quickly. They may be in love with Partner #1 on Tuesday, but in love with Partner #2 on Friday. This isn't real love.
In long-term relationships, there could be periods of boredom, frustration, conflict and other uncomfortable feelings. These emotions do not indicate a need to end the relationship. In relationships with real love, you care enough about your mate to figure out why you're feeling this way, and stay in the relationship to work on getting past the rough spot.
If you're the type of person to quit after the first conflict arises, then you're not experiencing real love. Real love sticks though tough times and doesn't leave at the very first sign of trouble.
Love Implies Never Being Apart
Some couples mistakenly assume they must be by each other's side constantly. They rarely do things without the other, and often don't have friendships outside the relationship. We would also call this relationship Enmeshed. To read more about Enmeshment click here.
Sometimes this type of couple shows jealousy when they are apart, or when one of them wants to do something without the other. Often, there is an "all or nothing" frame of mind when they view their time spent together: Either they are constantly together & happy, or apart and fighting (because one of them is jealous or feeling rejected).
In a healthy real love relationship, each person is able to have privacy (not secrecy) and friendships outside of the relationship. Separation is viewed as healthy and encouraged by both parties. In fact, each person understands that if separation does not occur, strain will be felt in the relationship due to the constant closeness.
We hope that everyone experiences real love and is able to throw all myths out the window. Thank you for reading, please come back for a visit as we have several more myths to uncover!
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.