Tip #2 - Be the person you think your Ideal would be attracted to. First off, WE'RE NOT SAYING CHANGE WHO YOU ARE IN ORDER TO GET SOMEONE TO LIKE YOU. Quite the opposite. Here's what we mean by this: Think about the type of person with whom you would like to be with in a relationship. What type of qualities do they possess? What type of lifestyle do they have in which you find attractive? I think you're getting the idea.
Now you have to look at yourself and see if you're living a life that would attract such a person as this. If you want someone who is trustworthy, caring, compassionate and a family person, then you need to search for this person in places that promote these qualities. You may not want to look in places like clubs & bars. Looking in places like church or volunteer groups might be a better fit. I'm not saying that bad people hang out in bars & clubs and I'm also not saying that only good people go to church or volunteer. We're saying to examine your own life, your own behavior, and to see if the way you act or where you hang out is going to attract the person you are looking for.
Tip #3 - Be ok alone, otherwise you could be desperate or settle in a relationship.
It's hard to be alone. We were designed to be in relationships. But, an inability to be alone, or inability to be comfortable feeling lonely for a period of time can be dangerous.
If you find yourself trying to avoid feeling lonely, you might settle for relationships that you otherwise would never agree to be a part of from the get-go. If you find yourself saying, "Well it's better to be with (insert name) than to be alone", then the relationship has already expired!
Understand that the right person is out there and you'll meet them in due time. But remember: You can't meet Mr/Mrs Right if you're desperately staying in a relationship just because you're afraid of being alone. Take the risk of being alone, get into therapy and figure out why it's hard to be alone, or journal when you're feeling lonely to see what deeper realizations you can discover.
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.