It is never surprising to us when couples come in with challenges they are having that revolve around not getting their needs met. Besides communication, this is usually an issue in a struggling relationship. It's so wonderful to see the change in a couple as they begin to recognize each other's needs. It's universal- we all have needs. I hope this week you have been able to see how normal and healthy it is to have them.
It is important for humans to feel they have the opportunity to accomplish and to feel supported when they are trying to complete or master something. Accomplishing a goal helps others feel in control of their lives and often empowers them to continue doing sometimes difficult and challenging tasks. It inspires them to move forward and do things they didn't know they could do. Everyone wants to feel they contribute to something or someone. Accomplishments give us that feeling.
We have a biological need to sometimes "get away" or escape from reality. This is actually a healthy thing to do when it's done in an appropriate way. Daydreaming, laughing, playing or watching sports, concentrating on a hobby, or sleeping are examples (if done in moderation) of ways people appropriately escape. Think of how you feel when you wrestle with your kids or watch a good movie. You feel like you have removed yourself, if only for a moment, from the stress of everyday life. The ability to be spontaneous and enjoy life and relationships is a need we all have. It brings to life that child within that we all still have. Many people that are very work-driven or task-oriented have difficulty letting themselves play. Actually letting yourself "get away" for a few minutes and having some fun makes people more productive. It's important for all of us to remember to do this often!
Tomorrow Joleen will finish us out with our last basic needs. Thank you for reading this week.
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville