By now you are understanding what a Garbage Message is. Now let's talk about Flower Messages. These are messages that we send that are encouraging, uplifting, and create a feeling of value to a person. Here are some examples: That was a greally good idea you had This is allowing someone (especially children) to feel free to explore and have "ideas" rather than to be told what to think and do all the time. This validates to them that you are excited about their thought- even if it didn't solve the problem- and that you heard it.
Keep up the good work This sends a message of encouragement. They see that you are aware of their work and this can encourage them to continue on. Every one needs a cheerleader every now and then, to let us know we are noticed and someone is appreciative.
You are a special person Everyone wants to be special. Think about how many people you have in your life that are special. Now think about the last time you told them they were. We don't do it often enough. It's important that everyone knows they are special. We encourage you to tell someone if you think they are.
Good for you! Again, this is encouraging! You are letting the person know you are happy for them. If they have found success, you are letting them know you are excited for them. This is a congratulatory flower message.
You seem to have a lot of good ideas When we give out our ideas, we put ourselves out there for others to criticize or put our ideas down. So when someone does have a lot of good ideas, it's important to let them know you see that. This will encourage them to continue being courageous and not shy about putting themselves out there.
You'll probably learn a lot from that mistake This flower message lets someone know that it's ok to make a mistake and that you are encouraged because they will probably learn from it. It sounds so different than "You made your bed, now lie in it", where there is no room for mistakes. It is encouraging and affirming to the person that it is ok and they will learn.
Hopefully you are understanding flower messages and getting some ideas for statements you can make to your children or any relationships for that matter. One thing to remember- we usually attract what we are. So if you are full of flower messages, you will probably receive more of them. Unfortunately, the same is true for garbage!
Tomorrow Joleen will have more flower messages. Thank you for reading. You are a special person, that was a good idea you had (to read this), and keep up the good work!! Ha ha
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville