As Teri wrote yesterday, it is possible to love too much. Amazing, but true. We want to help those of you who find yourself in this situation to find balance and peace. The middle ground can be loving someone & loving and honoring yourself as well. It doesn't have to be either/or. And, we're not just speaking to women this week either. Men can love too much too!
Here's what you can do if you are loving others to an unhealthy level:
1. Accept ourselves fully, even if there are things we want to change about ourself. Understand there is a basic self-love and self-regard we have for ourselves, that we can nurture and grow carefully. We are able to say, "I love myself, even though I am forgetful at times".
2. We are able to accept others just as they are, without trying to change them to meet our own needs. This one is hard! But, you know what's interesting? If we're able to do #1, this second one is easier to do. We're most critical of others when we're being critical of ourselves. The more we're able to accept ourself, the more we're able to accept others for who they are as a person.
Please note we're not asking people to become less loving and caring of others around them. What we are trying to draw attention to are those individuals who have a pattern of destructive relationships that fit the descriptions Teri introduced yesterday. Be loving & be kind. Live by The Golden Rule. But if you find yourself stretched too thin, then I hope this week's tips are helpful. Thank you for reading, please check back in for more "How To's".
Written by: Tamara Portee MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.