Teri and Tamara did an excellent job of describing the Family Hero and the Scapegoat in our families. I want to discuss with you the role in the family that typically gets "lost", the Lost Child. The Lost Child is usually shy and quiet. They prefer solitude and often have fantasy lives as children. They are the child that can be found in their room, reading a book or watching a movie while a big fight is going on in the living room. They are ok with mediocrity because it keeps them from standing out. They find it easier to attach to things rather than people.
Additionally, the Lost Child usually feels very rejected in the family. They are easily hurt and carry a lot of anxiety because they don't usually talk about what's bothering them. They usually try to blend in so they are "one less child to worry about".
As an adult, this could cause the Lost Child to be more sensitive to feeling left out or forgotten in a relationship or a group of individuals. At work, they tend to stay out of trouble and the spotlight. In a relationship, they tend to go with the flow, avoid conflict, yet feel anxiety about the relationship or talking about any problems. They tend to get lost in fantasy books, magazines, tv shows, movies, and even in their own fantasies in their minds. This is to avoid real life and what might be going on "in the living room".
It is important if you identify with the Lost Child to recognize your importance in relationships and how much value you bring to work, relationships, and life. Doing things to boost your self confidence will help you feel more important and see your value to things.
Tomorrow Joleen will talk to us about the Mascot. Any Mascots in the room? I'm sure you are already jumping up and down trying to be cute and funny! You can't wait to talk about you, can you??
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.